It was truly an amazing place.

            Unfortunately despite my mother’s great job at raising me I still grew up to be an idiot. I was 22 years old and having a discussion with a woman I worked with, she was explaining how she needed to do her Christmas shopping, her husband was working and she didn’t know what to do with her kids.

She had come to the right person! “Why don’t you just go to the Childless market?” I enquired.

She looked confused. “What’s that?”

I was excited, I was really going to help this woman, I was about to let her in on a secret that would change her life. She would be so grateful, she would owe me big time, she would respect me, and she may even pick me up a little something from the childless market.

I drew a breath and announced, “The Childless Markets is a special place for mums to their shopping, kids aren’t allowed in. They have to wait in the car with grandma. Everything on the shelf is neat and tidy because no kids are in there to mess it up”

By this point I was drawing a crowd. A few other mums were joining us listening intently.

“The Childless Market has all your shopping needs. Christmas, Birthday and now even selling Easter Eggs”

Wow I could write and add for this place.

I turned to my audience and waited for them to ask me how to find this magical place. I was met only with blank faces.

Only one woman spoke.

“Um love, that sounds like something your mum told you just so she could shop without you bothering her”

Couldn’t be, not my mum, she would never lie to me. I would call her right away. I called her at work,

“I don’t care if she is in the middle of teaching her class, this is an emergency”

             I got mum on the phone. I demanded an answer. Mum, typical mum, couldn’t even give it to me straight. She beat around the bush obviously she thought she could lie her way out of this but eventually she gave in and admitted, the Childless Market, was a sham.

My world came crumbling down.

            Great mum she was. Too bad about the lies. Whenever they catch a serial killer or someone who tries to plant a bomb in a public place they always do that evaluation on their personality and background. They always seem to find out that they got beaten as a child or molested by a neighbour and that’s why the committed some horrendous crime.

Not me. It I ever lose the plot and climb a building and start picking off cab drivers with a sniper rifle it’s because of this. The Childless Market. It’s scarred me for life.

I could imagine the headline: 27 YEAR OLD IDIOT KILLS PRESIDENT. CHILDLESS MARKET A SHAM.

And then on the next page of the newspaper, a nice big advertisement: OPENING TODAY. INNOVATIVE NEW IDEA. A CHILDLESS MARKET.