A story that spells tragedy in a childs mind. A psychological thriller…sort of.
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Cold and lonely I sit on the brink of destruction, wanting to get out, but who am i kidding I’m only a child. A child whose fears get the best of her, whose dream’s are not yet clear. A child who knows hell, who could snap at any point, but not quite yet, because I don’t really know if this is real. The pain, the sorrow, the last time my father beat me, is it real or am I crazy. I have not yet grasped anything, and I don’t understand what my life is, or if it will ever be. Today is my fifteenth birthday, and already I am scared to die.
My name is Bobbie and today I become a woman, whatever that means. My dad said it to me a couple years ago, and I still don’t know what it means. Today I become a woman, but does a woman have these fears. Does a woman fear death, or does she face it head on. Ever since elementary school I was afraid of severe consequences for my actions, especially after my dad went to prison. He beat me, raped me and left me for dead, he killed my mother and now I am in this orphanage, scared afraid of never seeing the light again. I am just an essence of a person that used to exist. Dear journal, I’m afraid of everything, even myself. Maybe my dad meant women were meant to die, maybe that’s why he did those horrible things. I don’t think I’ll ever know. ”Bobbie it’s time for school.” Sister Jaquelin just called for me journal I have to go. End Entry.
I slowly shut my journal and hid it under a loose floor board in my room. The sisters didn’t like us to have our diaries, they said to much thinking by ourselves with no help from God causes a mutiny in the church. I didn’t quite understand what they meant, but I don’t think it mattered, just as long as I smile and nod. I agree with almost everything the sisters tell me, right up until I write in my journal. I got dressed for the classroom and opened my door to Sister Jaquelin staring at me angrily. “You’re late young lady. What have I told you about being prompt to the classroom. Need I remind you that you are in the hands of the lord now. Please mind what I tell you and be prompt to your classes. If you are not always on time or you don’t graduate, then how will you expect to make it in the real world….hm-mm?” I just walked by her and nodded apologetically, I never wanted to upset any of the sisters, especially Sister Jacqueline, she was psychotic.
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