Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be someone else, well I have wondered what it would be like to not be me my entire life or actually what it would be like to actually be myself. My entire life I have pretended to be straight all though straight, gay, bi doesn’t make someone who they are its a big part of there life but living with that and not being able to tell someone I’m gay makes me think who am I. I have wondered how do others do it how do they have the courage to come out to there family and friends how do they say hey Mom and Dad I’m gay and not think those two words I’m gay will not ruin there life I don’t want to loose my family so I have staid in the closet for twelve years because the first time I realized I was gay was when I was eleven years old and I had my first girl crush. Believe me I want to tell my family and friends but living where I live its almost not possible everyone knows everybody and I don’t want to embarrass my family, although if you are gay or bi you shouldn’t be embarrassed of who you are and I’m not but my parents would be. Sometimes in my dark times I wonder to myself why am I gay and I wait for the right answer but I know it will never come. I know I was made this way for a reason and once I have the courage to come out I know all those question about why me will disappear because nothing makes me want to be straight I’m glad I’m gay I wouldn’t change that for anything its a part of me. I know I have to come to terms with who I am so I can have the courage to tell my family and friends who I am. I’m tired of living a lie, I’m so very tired its sucks everything out of me. I feel like a zombie just moving through the days, years passing by and I continue to live a lie, I’m not a liar but this part of me I have lied about my entire life as I have gotten older it has gotten harder for me to come out. So to everyone that just read this I hope you have the courage to be you because you don’t want to be me. Life should be lived as a happy life and if you’re not yourself you’re not happy.