**This article is not meant to ridicule the deaths of the winners, but only as an interesting topic. Please do not take any of this too seriously.**

The Darwin Awards began from Charles Darwin, who “commemorates those who assist natural selection by removing themselves from the gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives.”

Past Winners:

2010 nominee: A man in a wheelchair was annoyed that the elevator always left without him- he always missed it by a moment. After missing it one day, he rammed his wheelchair against the elevator doors. Then he rammed it again, hoping it would open up. By now, there were large dents in the doors. Ignoring this, he proceeded to ram it a third time, and broke through. Unfortunately, the elevator already left, and he plunged to his doom, earning him the title of “Angry Wheelchair Man”.

2010 nominee: The “Via Dutra” in Brazil is the largest freeway of the country. Hence, there is a large amount of traffic on it, almost at all times. At 6:00 am, one day, a heavy fog enveloped it. A couple driving along it thought that this was a great time to go “dating”. They parked in the MIDDLE of the freeway; they didn’t stop at the side, nor did they exit and park at a safer location. Of course, a cargo truck came a few seconds later (on the same lane as the parked car), and…

2009 nominee: Two robbers entered a Sprint store in South Carolina. They successfully stole wallets and purses, and forced the employees into the washroom with their guns. When they evacuated, one of the robber’s “brilliant” disguise was to spray paint himself gold. Not only did this actually single him out (not many people have metallic gold skin), the paint can clearly says something to the effect of “do not get on skin, eyes, or inhale it, TOXIC”. Very soon after, the robber had trouble breathing, and died within minutes.

2009 nominee: A man was suffering from financial trouble. To solve this, he asked his friend to bring him a knife and a large can of fuel. Then, he went off to a side street with his car, and set fire to it. He took out his cell phone and dialed the police. After this, he began stabbing himself with the knife. Of course, his intention was to be paid insurance for all this damage, but sadly, he “accidently” cut the artery in his throat and promptly died.

2007 nominee: A man was trying to impress his wife. They lived in an apartment building on the 7th floor. He walked out onto the balcony, and carefully jumped over, hanging on the bars with his hands. He showed off his “incredible” muscles by doing a couple of pull ups. When he decided his wife was suffienciently pleased, he attempted to climb back up. He learned that he was too tired to pull himself back up again. In his struggles, he managed to rip the bar he was holding out, and plummage 7 stories.

2007 nominee: A fit women in her 20’s was exercising on the second floor of her local gym. Realizing she had forgotten something on the bottom floor, she didn’t walk there, or use the intercom. She decided to yell down the open shaft of the lift. Peeking down, she didn’t see anything, so she bravely stuck her whole head in and started to yell. Now, if the lift was descending, her death would be less, but still stupid. But, the lift was ASCENDING, and how she did not see it, no one knows. A lift vs. a head. Hmmmm… I would have to say the lift wins.

MORE WILL FOLLOW