Mother Nature was at her wit’s end. What was to be done? In all of her 87,000,000,000,000,342.999999999 years, she had never known such a thing to happen before. She had consulted all the books of her ancestors back through all the eons, all to no avail. Now with a sigh, she laid aside the latest copy of Time Immortal, knowing there was only one thing left to do, She would have to call on Father Time himself!

“He won’t do what“? the old man roared, “why this is outrageous, preposterous, it breaks the law of oneness itself, what have you said to him”? Mother Nature was wringing her hands, “Nothing makes any difference, your Everlastingness, I’ve promised to cook his favourite breakfast but he says he’s not hungry, he just refuses to rise”. Father Time looked thoughtful, “it can’t be his furnace, it was checked just seven billion years ago, has he complained of anything“? Mother Nature thought for a nanosecond, “Nothing at all, he’s always his same bright self”. The old man stood up, “I’ll talk to him, it’s definitely not hereditary, I’ve know all his forebearers“.

The Sun yawned and turned over for another nap. So this is what it’s like to sleep in he murmured, as he snuggled under the blankets and wondered why he hadn’t thought of it before. Usually by now he would be smiling down on the mountains and peeping over the woodland at the rivers and lakes below. Mother Nature had been upset with him but he wasn’t a child anymore, why in another million years he’s be entering adolescence, it was time for him to assert himself. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door of the universe and he scrambled to answer. Although he hadn’t seen him since he was a little flame, he would have known Father Time anywhere. The long white beard was one thing but that clock shaped heart that ticked of the centuries was a complete giveaway.

Meanwhile, the people on Earth were getting more than a little restless. Some were consulting their favourite psychics, while others hastened to check the Mayan calendar to see if 2012 had perhaps arrived early. Everyone wondered just what they would do without the sun, after all they had gotten use to it being around. After a hastily called meeting of The Flat Earth Society, the president announced their unanimous decision that the sun was in the shop for a good polishing. In Caplin Bight Newfoundland, Jehu Gilmore kept checking to see if someone had tarred his windows again. Finally it was decided that everyone would watch reruns of MASH until they fell asleep and hope that today might have arrived by tomorrow.

The sun was a little shocked to see Father Time and wondered if perhaps he had gone too far this time. Mother Nature, he could always soft talk but old man Time was a different matter. Like a certain schoolboy he remembered, he decided to try and fake it. The sun groaned as he rubbed his stomach and looked at Father Time with tearful eyes. Seeing the sun in his pyjamas, at what should have been mid-day was a once in an eternity sight, and had it not been such a serious matter, Father Time would have laughed aloud. As it was he frowned at the poor frightened, and-pretending-to-be-sickly sun. “There has never before been a day that wasn’t“, roared Time, do you know what you have done“? The poor sun hung it’s head and then quickly reached for it’s rays, “I’ll get started right away sir”, he almost sobbed. Father Time shook his head, “it’s too late for that now son, it will mess up all my inner workings, this must remain the day that wasn’t – until it was, you understand that son‘? Trying to hide his head under the blankets, the sun nodded, he had an early rise tomorrow – or was it today? Father Time shook his head as he left the room – How he wondered, would he explain this to the council of Oneness?