The Dumb Ostrich

“Ostrich! Ostrich! Ostrich!”, the crowd was chanting as the curtain of the stage was in a still, no-wake state. The stage lights lit up behind the curtain and the silhouette of Ostrich with three other band members could be made out. The crowd went crazy as lighters were lit and hands were in the air. The curtain was drawn away to reveal The Ostrich Band members: Ostrich as the lead vocalist, a guitarist, bassist and drum player. Ostrich let out a loud hiss and the band followed its cue, launching into a cover song “Masterplan” by the Plasmatics. One verse into the song a stagehand shoved a large yam into Ostrich’s windpipe, making it impossible for it to breathe. The band played on watching Ostrich struggle for air and the crowd jeered and ridiculed Ostrich. Once the bird was unconscious that was the stagehand’s cue to douse it with gasoline and set it on fire. This gave Ostrich a second wind yet was unable to stand up so it flopped and flailed around like a fish in a boat. The band played on as rehearsed, each band member taking turns kicking the bird until it expired. In the end Ostrich had learned a hard lesson but was content and happy.

The End