When a new ‘boss’ arrives, there’s usually a period of watch and see, which is often followed by internecine war. Like any new tyrant, a new boss needs to stamp his name on the branding irons.

The Great Rubbish Bin War began when Mr. Contention, a new boss, decided to move the rubbish bin as, according to him,
“Seeing a rubbish bin as you enter the office sets the wrong tone.”

If you are employed anywhere, you know that over time you tend to sleepwalk.  Hence moving a rubbish bin will usually lead to tossing rubbish where it had been.

There are those employees who walk in, toss the trash where the bin should be, and don’t realise there is no bin.

There are others who toss the trash, realise there is no bin, but keep walking.

Then there are those who stand up and ask:  “Where’s the Bin?”

It is not usual for employees become sentimental about a rubbish bin. However, at this particular office, the removal of that rubbish bin was tantamount to a declaration of war.

The standard war cry was that; “You can’t just walk into an office and remove a rubbish bin.”

The standard behaviour was to throw trash where the bin used to be until there was a great garbage mountain.

At this point one Stupidvisior decided to involve herself in the situation.

“What’s this mess?” She shouts, seeing the hall appearing as a landfill.

No one answered her, so she shouted again, and Leyton, because he did tend to like trouble, replied;

“What mess?”

“What do you mean what mess?” Stupidvisior retorted, ankle deep in old paper, half eaten lunches, and whatever else people had discarded.

“What mess?” Leyton says with a straight face, “that’s the rubbish bin.”

“What rubbish bin? There is no rubbish bin!”

“There’s no rubbish bin?” Leyton said innocently, while the rest of the staff was inflicting damage to their jaws to keep from laughing.

“Do you see a rubbish bin?” The Stupidvisior asked.

“There’s supposed to be a rubbish bin there,” Leyton decided, getting up and out of the office so he could roll on the floor in hysterics privately.

“Who is going to clean up this mess?” The Stupidvisior asked.

“What Mess?” asked Daphne, filling in for Leyton.

The Stupidvisior, having covered this ground already, moved away, and the staff rejoiced as if they’d won a major battle.

Shortly after the maintenance man came, swept up the rubbish, put it into a big plastic bag, and carried it away.

In about an hour, Geeky Kid came through the passage, tossed an empty cup at where the Rubbish Bin used to be and kept walking.

The Staff held their faces flat, not wanting to alert G.K. that there was no bin.

The empty cup was lonely for a short time, when another member of the I.T. squad came through, and so fascinated by the conversation he was conducting with his cell phone, tossed a tin which bounced back and hit him.

“Who moved the bin?” he shouted, staring at Bailey.

“What you looking at me for?” he argued.

“Did you move the bin?”

Hearing the magic word, the Stupidvisior came flying out and nabbed G.K.2.

“What are you throwing garbage on the floor for?”

“Where’s the bin?” G.K.2. asked.

It was then the Stupidvisior admitted that Mr. Contention had decided it set the wrong tone when people enter the office to see a rubbish bin.

This led to great debate, which went on and on, until  Mr. Contention himself came into the fray where he could toss his weight around.

This, of course, made it worse.

It was then decided that as soon as he was out of the building, everyone would empty their little bins in the
area where the much lamented Rubbish bin had been.

Old Man Finister, who was due to retire next month, now took the bull by the horns, or the Rubbish Bin by the Handles.

He went on a mission to find and retrieve and return the bin, which had been moved to a position way down the other corridor.

He received a standing ovation when he placed the bin where it had previously stood.

Cathy, who was pretty good with graphics, ran off a huge sign which was taped up over the bin.

“The Contention Memorial Rubbish Bin.”

The sign was torn down by the Stupidvisior, but the Rubbish Bin remained.