THE HONOURABLE THIEF

The presidential and parliamentary elections were fast approaching and for this reason the country had been put in a heightened electioneering mood. It had reached fever pitch as politicians criss-crossed the country hunting for votes. In the fifty years since independence from the British colonialist, this election was being billed as the toughest, in fact a titanic battle of epic proportions.

This time the front runners was a cast of the usual suspects-old, sickly, illiterate dirty men, drug barons, gun runners, reformed prostitutes and as you guess one or two backtracked pastors-they had for long managed to hold onto power-to be exact for over three decades-and had ‘ably steered’ the country through the turbulent post independence times managing to hold a fragile peace which they upset at times through tribal skirmishes here and there. Was it not normal after all for the tree of freedom to be watered occasionally with blood? A few souls though would be dispatched to the next world by crude machetes, poisoned arrows or clubs, but the spoken word was necessary to be respected both in spirit and letter.

Nevertheless, the citizens had cause to be thankful to God for the little mercies-other countries in the neighbourhood had plunged into depths of political turbulence just after independence and the scars occasioned by bloodletting and destruction are still raw. In some of these countries monuments of shame stand with downcast faces as penitents so ashamed of their evil ways. The gracious politician never forgot to extol the peace and stability that had defined this country for all this long making it a veritable island of peace in a sea of turbulence. For this people had to be thankful to God for the little mercies.

So, Hon.Onduogi EBS, ESq was a front runner this year. He wanted to have a stab at the parliamentary post for a record sixth -five-year term.However,due to the pressure from his faithful supporters, he had been forced to seek a higher post of senatorship.His performance in parliament according to ‘his impartial judgment and that of  his supporters has been quite sterling’. Never mind the fact that in his entire thirty years in parliament, he is never known to have moved any substantial motion.either, his fame emanated from unlikely quarters-he has punched fellow legislators in parliament if they could not agree on an issue. As a man, he knew better that solving a disagreement with a few blows was the surest way to glory. To any commentator on Hon.Onduogi’s parliamentary life, fist fights can be said to feature highly in his erstwhile lackluster performance-some of us have lost count of this honourables’ brawls. The last fight occurred six months ago to be precise in the precincts of the august house and according to a publication I saw on our streets, he was fighting over a lady he had allegedly been snatched by his colleague. I don’t know how true this is but I bet for the editor of that gutter publication to have written something like that about Hon Onduogi, he must have had evidence. The reason why I say this is because in our country a mere libel to a politician attracts the highest compensation by our courts. Last year for instance, a reputable left wing publication, The Post, was forced to fold up after being slapped with a dollar 100,000 fines for libel in compensation to a politician for writing a story exposing his dirty escapades with school girls in a hotel two years ago.