The Host

by R J Dent

Eddie was watching the television.

          After a hard day’s work at the factory, there was nothing Eddie liked more than sitting down in his favourite armchair and watching whatever happened to be on the television. He’d flick from one channel to another as each programme ended, slowly eating his way through the huge portion of fish and chips he habitually bought on the way home from work.

          For Eddie, the television was a window onto the rest of the world.

          Thanks to the television, Eddie thought, I’m in touch with what’s going on on the planet.

          Eddie even had his favourite type of programme – documentaries. Not the ones in which the eating, drinking, mating and sleeping habits of some animal or other were shown, but the ones that showed real people in real situations – the ones Eddie called ‘True Life Dramas’.

          The best example of this, Eddie felt, was the ‘drama’ in which someone got wrongfully imprisoned, whereupon a research team would be galvanized into finding evidence which would prove the someone’s innocence. Then, in collaboration with a phone-in vote and audience participation, the presenter or ‘host’ would set out to get the innocent person released. It was all very dramatic.

          That was Eddie’s favourite type of programme. When there were two, maybe three of those on in one night – which was rare – Eddie felt he was getting value for money.

          But the ones I hate most of all are the quiz shows, he thought darkly.

          The feeling that Eddie had for quiz shows wasn’t really strong enough to be termed hate, for if one was on – and if there was nothing that interested him on any of the other channels – he would watch it. The reason he felt the way he did about quiz shows was because he was sure he could do the job of hosting one of those shows better than most of the so-called hosts could. He had reached this particular – and to him quite obvious – conclusion after watching several of these similarly-formatted shows, whereupon he realized that most quiz show hosts were lacking charisma to the point of blandness.