I was wondering what it would be like to be a ham sandwich so I wrote this..

              He found a place to park and went to the nearest chuggler.  He went in and there were a lot of people in there and every one seemed to be looking at him, he strolled up to the chugg master and asked him for a drink.  The chugg master gave him a large glass and pointed to a machine with a bunch of buttons on it and said “Make your choice.”  Jebous went to the machine and searched and searched but could not find his drink the one he always used to get.  He went up to the master and asked about his drink, everyone in the bar stopped dead in there tracks, they all looked at him thinking wow he can’t handle it.  The chugg master went over to the register and entered a code, it opened and he pulled out a large shiny key, everyone gathered around as he opened up a special room with bottle after bottle of Beer, the room looked as if it hadn’t been opened in years, the chugg master pulled out a bottle and admired the it then handed it to Jebous telling him, “if you can handle this all your drinks are on the house.”  Jebous opened the bottle and took a sip of the tasty beverage, then he tipped the bottle back and chugged it as he got down the bottle every one gasped.  He finished the bottle, and set it down and asked for another one, they looked like they never seen anything like it before.  He got his second and began drinking it, he was loving the attention, after he finished his fourth one everyone was expecting him to fall down dead but he asked for another one, he began to chug this one and everyone kept chanting chug chug chug, after he finished that one, people started asking him if he was ok he looked at them and asked, has no one ever had a beer before, they all looked at him and said “No way that stuff is much too harsh the last time some one had a beer they died after the first drink.”  He looked at them and told them that that is all he used to drink when he was younger, they looked at him like he was crazy, one person spoke up and said “you don’t look like you have been drinking long, how old are you like 23 or 24.”  He was about to say how old he was but then he remembered that he should be dead by now but due to the anomaly that he had experienced he could not say, so he just looked at them and said “Yeah I know I was just kidding.”  The whole place burst out laughing; he joined them in the laughter.  Then he thought of Tate.

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