“(Combination of growls and giggles) Gee Jeans. Think those thick-skulled big apes can even have a concussion?”

A solo close-up appears of Jeans Levi-Strauss staring into the camera lens. “Let’s ask our 21st Century audience. How many, of you high tech folks, could survive in this Paleolithic Era? And go head injury free?”

Throughout planet Earth, and in all time zones during the Hominid Night Scavenging broadcasts, quietude fell upon the crowds. At least once per show, sometimes on several occasions, questions were often asked of the viewers to compare their current existence to that of their forebears. Human philosophy had proven to be a popular addition to the world of athletic productions. The classic (and ancient) phrase- ‘ I think, therefore I am.’; had now become a familiar sign seen hangin’ over all cash registers-

‘I drink, therefore I am

m

m.’.

Of course that primal behavior, named machismo in the Spanish-speaking cultures, of showing ones own manliness came forth in response to Jeans’ challenge. And ‘go head-injury-free’ meant that numerous drunks world wide banged their heads together to prove their caveman’s genes still existed. Good thing that modern hospitals had emergency wards, too. Plenty of concussions happened this evening.

Back on the air, Levi-Strauss can be see reaching out to his friend Maasai, and lightly tapping the top of his head. “Johann, you ever have a concussion back in the olde days?”

The Neanderthal’s response is a slow turning of his head to loosen up his thick neck muscles. Couple of neck bones shifting and popping can be heard. Then, to the crowd’s surprise, and to add entertainment drama to his response, Johann lifts the eye patch from off his right eye to standing up away from his eye socket. Both of his brown eyes stare back in amusement at his carnival partner. “Honestly Jeans. Despite your advanced intellect, think you wanna be the first one to go toe-to-toe, fist-to-fist, to see who’s head hurts most?”

     His Neanderthal hands slap loudly together for theatrical effect. Jeans sits for a moment before rubbing his chin with his left hand to prove he is thinking. He too, is going for showing his broadcasting strengths- in his case it is advanced mentality. After a moment’s cogitation… (question for the readers out there “ask yourselves- do I know what that word meant? If yes, you are a modern Homo sapien. If no, start dressing as the Neanderthal you still are.”)

The main announcer smiles as a glow radiates from his own blue eyes. “If I can knock you down, then you would be the one to order an extra large pepperoni pizza?”

Johann laughs loudly. Then a thought suddenly occurs to him, causing his right brow to raise and his eye patch to return over his right eye. “Hey! If I knock you down first, then you would be too unconscious to order my Mastodon pizza for me!” This comment gets bar fights started back in the 21st Century.

     Co Sell is seen next in a medium shot, as he rubs his belly at the thought of a Mastodon pizza. Then raises a can of Oldowan beer in respect. Jeans laughs in return before returning his gaze towards the camera focused upon his image. “There we are sports fans. Displaying one of the origins of our violent background. Think the Leakey family of anthropologists would consider that human violence started over pizza delivery?”

Maasai and Co Sell are heard howling in the background.

“Or that the modern invention of the bureaucratic worker was actually a gimmick created by the Tanzanian Colobus monkeys with nothing to do?”

Co Sell opens another Oldowan beer can for his buddy Johann to gulp down quickly.

“Or that the original Teamsters union was a brainchild of the equatorial African gorillas?”

Maasai belches a deep agreement, then crushes the can so it can be thrown away.

“Hope you enjoyed our pre-game show. Now get ready for our game to begin! First a word from our sponsors.”

As the many commercials begin, bars throughout this world experience modern man’s dash for the rest room. Hey, despite all our technological advances, our kidneys are still relatively small. Wonder if cavemen ever used “group pissing” as a method of hunting back then?

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