A short story for Writing Challenge 24 using the words "Flaccid balloon" and "umbrella".

 

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As she began picking up the party poppers, streamers and other paraphernalia the woman sighed.  It was quiet now everyone had gone.  The in-laws had taken her son home with them to give her a chance to clear up uninterrupted. Children’s parties were always hard work, but watching the sheer joy on their faces made it worth it.  Most of the children had been from her son’s class at school together with a couple of others.  The age range was predominantly aged four to five.  At that age all children can be hard work – but their logic and perceptions of life are also a pure joy.  They had all behaved well and there had only been a few tears over a toy car.  Nothing major.  The face painting had been a great success – even though most of the children had wanted to paint themselves or each other!  The bouncy castle had been a fantastic addition and had done much to drain the over excited tots from running riot.  So all in all, it had been a success – so why did she feel so flat?  ‘I’m just tired’, she told herself.

 

She’d cleared away the party food and paper plates, all she had to do now was vacuum and give the kitchen a quick going over.  She looked over at her partner.  He was still reading the paper.  How can someone read the paper for 3 hours and ignore everything around them?  She wondered why he had even bothered coming.  She plugged in the vacuum cleaner and made a start.  One bonus was that it was one of those vacuums that had a light at the front, which meant you could easily see to pick up all of the bits of debris, even in the darkest corners.  ‘Arghh’, she thought, ‘is this what my life has come to?  Getting excited over a vacuum with a light?’  Life really must have become mundane.  As she vacuumed on autopilot, her thoughts ran away with her.  ‘What has happened to me?  I’ve turned into one of the  ‘Stepford Wives’.  I used to be an independent, free thinking woman…’ 

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Comments (12)
  • LOVELYHONEY on Jul 18, 2010

    strange i too wrote a similar version metaphors and umbrellas just nwo w/o reading urs

    on the other site

    it goes to prove my theory naturally

    that at least two minds

    any where in the world

    are thinking similarly .

    i haven’t read your article yet
    shall do after i ve posted my refrain

    thanks………….

    gr8888888 work urs

  • webseowriters on Jul 18, 2010

    nice job

  • wordperson on Jul 18, 2010

    A beautifully written story! The birthday as a background theme was utilized very well. Great use of the words of the challenge. The image at the end was pretty good. : )

  • Duff D Moss on Jul 18, 2010

    Tis always a dangerous time for a relationship after a 5 year old’s birthday:-) Quite sad really though – stupid man. She just didn’t train him well enough ;-) Great little story though. Descriptive and engaging. Well done and thanks for playing in the challenge.

  • Spiritt on Jul 19, 2010

    To some it is that easy but for others, not so much. This was written very well.

  • LCM Linda on Jul 19, 2010

    Very vivid. Well written. Enjoy the story very much.

  • RS Wing on Jul 19, 2010

    Great narrator you are. Good dialogue, too. As a man, I can relate to this, as well as a women. Realistic short story and well written prose. Cool use of the challenge words and kind of sad story. Excellent work!

  • meandu on Jul 21, 2010

    This was a great, well written story and a terrific answer to the writing challenge.

  • Annie Hintsala on Jul 21, 2010

    children change everything, but it doesn’t have to be in the dumps. Good response to the challenge.

  • C Jordan on Jul 24, 2010

    Nicely written.

  • Great Idea on Jul 26, 2010

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  • Butterfly Musings on Aug 9, 2010

    Awesome, I love your flow of words and imagery!! excellent

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