An elderly couple were having a terrible problem with their memory so they decided to go see a doctor. The doctor instructed them to start writing down everything that they had been forgetting. One night they were watching TV and the wife said she would like a bowl of ice cream. Her husband said he would get it for her. As he stood to go, she told him to write it down so he won’t forget.  He said he was just going to the kitchen, he wasn’t going to forget. He came back in a few minutes and gave her a plate of bacon and eggs. She shook her head and said “I knew this was going to happen. You forgot my toast!”

At a wedding rehearsal, the groom said to the minister, “I’ll make a deal with you. If you would change my wedding vows, leave out that love, honour and obey stuff, I’ll give you a hundred dollars”. He pressed a hundred dollar bill into the minister’s hand and walked away with a big smile on his face. The next day during the ceremony, the minister said “do you promise to bow down before your wife, take her breakfast in bed every morning, fulfill her every desire?” he gulped in astonishment and in a weak voice, he said, “I do” then he leaned forward and said “ I thought we had a deal?”.

The minister handed him the money back and said, “your wife made me a much better offer”.

A man died and left his wife twenty thousand dollars. After the funeral, the wife told a friend that she was totally broke. Her friend said,” what do you mean you are broke? I thought you had twenty thousand dollars?” She replied and said “well, I spent five thousand on the funeral and fifteen thousand on the memorial stone”. The friend said “wow, that was some memorial stone. How big was it?” she held up her finger and said “three and a half carats”

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