I had not once lost my keys last week. To celebrate I thought I would treat myself to a 3-D movie. As I was leaving to go I could not find my prescription glasses. Being in a hurry I saw the binoculars lying on the table and I scooped them up with the fleeting thought of “these will work just the same.” I stood in line at the theatre in shock because of how much a 3-D movie cost, so I stepped out of line to use the ATM. It ate my card. The ATM ate my card. I began to rumage through every pocket and zippered portion of my purse to find extra cash. I got my ticket and I sat down in the theater seat and put on the 3-D glasses. The movie started. I lifted the binoculars that magnify everything by about 200 percent up to my already covered in 3-D glasses eyes. Something jumped out at me from the screen that looked like it was the size of Texas and I kicked the back of the seat in front of me so hard that I broke a toe. I yelped in pain like a dog and had to be dragged from the theater by two pimply faced teenaged boys that were so tickled that they kept belching up soda. They sat me out in lobby where I took off my shoe. The sight of my second (and longest) toe, looking like a baby eggplant, was terrible. It was big, really Big and purple. By the time the ambulance came I was so embarrassed that I covered my face with a sticky napkin I found lying on the floor. Well, that turned out to be a bad idea. When the paramedics tried to remove the napkin, it was stuck to my eyebrow and bangs. This sent me over the edge and as I took in a deep breath to scream in frustration, I swallowed my gum and almost choked to death. Luckily the paramedics were there. After being x-rayed, wrapped and drugged, I made it home in a taxi. I thought about my car being towed from the theatre lot as I searched for my keys. Oh no! I lost my keys.