Jimmy had gotten drunk again that evening and Sadie had stoically taken another beating. I knew this wasn’t the moment to enter Jimmy’s brain and I would have to wait for a more opportune time. I found Susie distraught once again but also anxious to know what I had learned. As I talked to her about her mother’s upbringing, she was very attentive and I felt, not overly surprised. She looked at me sadly when I had finished. “ Mommy has no love to give” she said softly, “I was right all along”. She then explained that she had never felt loved by her mother and wondered if she had been loved herself as a child. “Daddy loves me” she smiled, “at least he did at first, I rarely see him anymore unless he’s drunk, then he’s so angry with mommy that he doesn’t notice me at all“. “ Mommy says he doesn’t love me because he wanted a boy, but why would he have loved me at first, I FELT his love and deep down I know he still loves me“. I nodded in agreement, “your dad doesn’t understand why your mommy is acting this way, she shows no love for him either”. I knew that it had been lust and not love that had brought them together, but it seemed that Jimmy had been ready to try, at least in the beginning.

The following day was Sunday, and Jimmy’s hangover had kept him in bed until noon. He cursed at himself as he dressed, remembering the beating he had given Sadie the evening before. He wondered too why she did not fight back, or didn’t appear to hate him. The whole thing was driving him crazy. He watched now as his wife fed their little girl, and the thought struck him that there was no love there either, her actions were strictly mechanical.

Meanwhile inside Jimmy’s brain, I was quickly taking stock of things. It was quite obvious that he was a very confused young man and I wasted no time in finding his records and as with Sadie, these too were neatly stacked and organized. As I’d expected, there had been little trauma in his young life except for the usual rivalry among siblings and the occasional slap from one of his parents. They were rarely angry with each other and Jimmy, and he assumed all of his siblings, had always felt wanted and loved. Oh he had been a bit of a bit of a terror in his teenage years, but this wasn’t unusual for boys of his day, and most quickly learned to take responsibility for their actions. His father had died three years earlier and in less than six months, his mother too had was laid down beside him. Jimmy was living with his sister Margret when Sadie became pregnant with his child, something she hadn’t told him until he had noticed himself. Strange he thought that Sadie had not pressed him to marry her, but their relationship had been little more than moments of lust snatched from the rare times when Sadie was allowed outside. He had fully intended to marry her when he discovered that she was pregnant; it was just the right thing to do. It was he who insisted on talking to her parents and they lost no time in demanding that he must marry their daughter, yet appeared quite surprised when he readily agreed. Afterwards they showed little interest, but did turn up for the marriage ceremony. The minister gave them a stern lecture about pre-marital sex and insisted on marrying them in the back of the church, saying that they were unworthy to approach the Altar of God. This was something that Jimmy had expected and he took it in stride unbeknown of the fact that it was only adding to the already dismal outlook of his bride. He had expected her to be as happy as he was at the birth of their daughter, and when she showed almost no emotion, he became concerned. When their lovemaking resumed he had expected his wife to express her love, but she never did. Having no idea how to cope with the situation, he eventually began drinking heavily. The first time he beat Sadie, he was very upset and later and wondered how she would react. That she acted as if nothing had happened came as quite a shock to him, but also added to his despair.