There was only one way to get to know Susie’s parents and that was to get inside their brains, become aware of their thoughts and learn about their past. Since I already knew something about Jimmy, I decided to start with Sadie who I had not met until today. As I’d never been inside someone’s brain before I really didn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t the confusion I discovered. Thoughts were scattered all over the place, today’s thoughts were mixed with yesterday’s thoughts and last weeks thoughts. There were even a few of last years thoughts thrown in for good measure. I was shocked at the level of untidiness and wondered how the brain could function at all. It was then that I heard it, the almost silent humming sound that told me that despite all that I’d seen, the brain was running smoothly! I noticed a thought slip easily away from the others and enter Sadie’s mind where she held it for a few seconds, then quickly replaced it with another. Taking a more careful look, I saw in one corner what appeared to be a filing cabinet and after looking it over, I realized that I had been far too hasty in my judgement. The cabinet contained everything that had happened in Sadie’s life from day one, all neatly organized by year and age.

It was hard to believe that so much could happen to someone in one day, not to mention a year, and I silently thanked Patrick John for teaching me speed reading. As I flipped through the pages a picture began to unfold before me. It was that of a young girl growing up unloved, uncared for and abused. Her parents had wanted a boy and never ceased to remind Sadie of that and no matter what she did, she would never earn their praise. She was also blamed for the fact that her mother was unable to conceive again. By the age of ten, Sadie believed that not only was she bad but was the reason for all of her parents troubles. Night after night she would lie awake listening to her parents screaming at each other and totally blaming herself. She knew it was useless to pray, after all she was certain that God was not her heavenly father as someone had once told her, but that she was as her mother constantly reminded her, ‘the devil’s spawn‘. It quickly became clear that Sadie had carried these feelings into her marriage and even before they were wed, she had felt certain that her husband would beat her just as her parents had done. When she became pregnant at fifteen, her parents demanded that Jimmy marry their daughter, while privately deriding her for having ruined the young man’s life.