[Lights up on the STORYTELLER reading from a leather-bound volume with gilded pages.]

STORYTELLER: (closing the volume) The End.  Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite. What?  You want to hear another one?  But it’s a school night.  Okay, okay, just this once.  I’m such a pushover.  What type of story shall we hear? (ad lib. if the audience yells out suggestions) How about a fairy tale for our times?  A field of dreams fenced in by white picket, a story of the young man and woman we all hope to be someday? Too bad, that’s what you’re getting.

(The STORYTELLER opens the volume back up.  Lights up on BRIDE and GROOM in traditional garb standing on top of a wedding cake.)

Once upon a time there was a young woman, pretty as a day in June.

(The BRIDE does the royal wave.)

A young man stood by her side, smart as a whip and handsome as a polo horse.

(The GROOM salutes.)

They met in high school and fell in love on a merry day in May.

(The BRIDE and GROOM whisper to each other.)

Before long, the young man dropped to his knee, pulled a diamond from his pocket, and won the young woman’s hand in marriage.

BRIDE: Uh, excuse us, Mr. Storyteller?

(The STORYTELLER looks back at them, confused.  The BRIDE and GROOM smile and wave.  The STORYTELLER waves back.)

STORYTELLER: Moving right along.  With the blessings of their compatible—

BRIDE: Mr. Storyteller!

STORYTELLER: Excuse me a moment. (to BRIDE) Yes, what is it?

BRIDE: We didn’t exactly meet in high school.

STORYTELLER: Yes you did, it says so right here.

BRIDE: We met in a bar.

GROOM: And we dated on and off for five years while she dilly-dallied with foreigners.

STORYTELLER: How nice.  Well.  For our purposes, let’s say you met in high school, shall we? (back to the kids) So.  With the blessings of their compatible families, the young man and woman were to be Bride and Groom.

BRIDE: (to GROOM) Wait a minute.  As I recall, you kept breaking it off.

GROOM: What?

BRIDE: Yeah.  Then you’d want me back the minute I had a new boyfriend.