Take a journey into the depths of a master rambler. The Odyssey of Me, coming soon to a theater near you!
WARNING
The views expressed in this article may very well be offensive to you. If you are fat, Asian, are a chicken vendor, gay, love panda bears, have had a friend in a boating/nuclear accident, like George Bush, or love Hitler READ THIS STORY AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!
The Odyssey of Me By Alan Temps
I was walking down a dark, dark alleyway; it was noon-ish but that didn’t stop the sun from setting. The mass of the pollution had covered the sky with a dark feature, only a madman could resemble the true color of the sky. 2078, a new world order at hand. I held my overcoat tightly as I walked suspiciously down the broken and beaten ally-way trying to think of the warm fire that greeted me when I walk in my door. But alas, the only thing that would greet me was an old rotted can of cold beans and a strange gaunt face in the mirror. As I walked I noticed a shadowy figure behind me. I quickened my pace and glanced behind me, but the figure was heavily dressed with a maroon scarf and dark glasses. It started off on a quick stride and increased to a good jog. That’s when I started to run As I took off I threw trash cans filled with god knows what to the ground hoping to slow my chaser off balance. Sadly I saw a dead end in front of me. My pursuer slowly came to a slow casual walk, and then I saw his face. “CHICKEN FIVE DOLLARS! FRESH FROM THE COOP!” A bead of sweat fell down my forehead as I thought, “Damn chicken salesmen”
*Mission Impossible theme music keys in*
The Odyssey of Me
The next five minutes of my life were scared and confused. I mean I was more confused then when someone said, “Does a bear s**t in the woods?” and for the next two weeks until I saw the discovery channel I was confused. After a long, long time of endless droning, I took out my vaporizer gun and vapored him.
Now what’s the moral of this story? If you ever see a chicken vendor, take out your vapor good and vaporize him.
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