Good evening and good day, my name is loin… sir loin if you will, but my friends call me the puny punster for obvious reasons. But if my nickname is not too obvious to you, then let me explain. If you should ever meet me you’ll wish that my behavior, much like a certain water mammal, were so entertaining that I “otter” stop.  But at the very least, I can assure you that the phrase “puny punster” will be the only absurd alliteration you will have to suffer though.

            Do you get my meaning now? Perhaps I am still not being clear, for you see I can sometimes be a little too fluid with my words in a way that their meaning can slip past the ears of less lucid people. But have no fear; I shall silence my Shakespearean tongue to hopefully trick you into inappropriate thinking.

If I were a pirate hooker, I’d call myself a land hoe…. Or if I was a turtle I’d most likely be a little shellfish… but alas I am humbly the puny punster in all my preposterous, or perchance, perplexing glory. People often play with palpitating perceptions pertaining to my petite propriety in passing poor smiles, but I consider it my privilege as a phool to do so. Also, I fibbed about peacefully promising to pack only a single passive plague of alliteration into your potentially perfect pinna. Process this paper before prosecuting the person though… please.

And so, I privately place before you the portal to partake in my painstakingly pancake pranks, held by yours truly the puny punster, in an attempt to flip your world upside down and to twist your tongue in tenacious thesaurus type tales that many may have tempted only two times, til now. So pay patronage, or patronize, my painting phrases, but at least you understand the puny punster’s pillory point.