The Quantum Physicist’s Revenge

by R J Dent

The quantum physicist was ecstatic.

          He took a jubilant eye away from the microscope, a jubilant step back from his workbench, then turned and jubilantly walked towards the door of his laboratory, in his haste very nearly knocking over a whole assortment of delicate scientific apparatus that had been arranged around the room.

          “Eureka,” he said under his breath. “Eureka!”

          He repeated this word several times, and then stopped saying it when he realized that the word wasn’t dramatic enough for his purpose. Eureka might have been good enough for a naked Archimedes, but times had changed, science had moved on, and the quantum physicist had discovered something with implications that would prove to have far more impact on the human race than the Hydrostatic Law. And he didn’t need to run naked through the streets to make his point. His discovery would make itself apparent to everyone very soon.

          Having unnecessarily reminded himself of this fact, the young quantum physicist walked quickly out of his laboratory and along the corridor, trying to think of something appropriately commensurate with his discovery as he made his way to the Chief Science Officer’s office.

          Upon reaching the office, he knocked and entered, not bothering -such was his eagerness to impart the news- to wait for the usual, terse bark of “Enter!”

          The Chief Science Officer looked up from behind his desk, angry and surprised. He simply wasn’t used to any of his staff simply barging into his office – although due to this just happening, he was able to deduce that the situation justified it, which meant – in short – that one of his staff had discovered something relevant, perhaps even important.

          “Yes?” the Chief Science Officer demanded, with just the right amounts of sternness and understanding combined in his tone of voice.

          “It’s official, Sir,” the quantum physicist announced grandly. “God is dead!”