Story III

Chapter 1

In the middle of the day a cob of corn chose to be alive and eat all the grass. The cob was a happy cob but occasionally had a bad temper. One day his temper was so bad that he turned cannibalistic and attacked the other cobs. He ran away into the Nottingham Forrest and he ran into Robin Hood and Little John the Prince! Robin Hood and Little John got hungry, but he didn’t want to eat his little friend… Little John was hungry too and he didn’t resist. Then Little John realized what he had done and wept for many, many days. Then he killed himself and the corn of cob crawled out of his stomach and there was much rejoicing. Then the cob was in the desert and felt very alone, for in fact, he was alone. Since he was alone he had no contact with anyone and became very sad. So the cob ate Robin Hood and turned into a “Real Boy.” A fairy appeared to him at night and said every time he lied, a new corn bushel will stand in the place that he lied in! (Very confusing!) So he said that he would never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever… Ever, EVER tell a lie, and what do you know? A bushel sprung up beneath his feet! The fairy was so angry that he told him that he was cursed to fly to Never Neverland without stopping EVER to go to the bathroom!!! Well, then, in defiance, the cob skipped there and stopped 12 times.

Chapter 2

Once there he ran into some nasty mean pirates. Once they found out about his curse they kept him as a slave and forced him to lie so they would never run out of corn. On the pirate ship a battle broke out between two ships. A person accidentally put him in the cannon and fired him. The cannon fired him so far and so fast that he was flying for a long, long time. When finally stopped. He bumped into the fairy godmother and knocked her unconscious. Cinderella stared at him with horror. Now I will never make it to the ball in time! You stupid piece of corn. In a wrath of anger Cinderella fed the corn to her horse. Which caused it to begin to rain lollipops as the horse ran to the candy shop. But there was only one candy shop in the entire world, which was also the biggest. And the only way to get in is to find the Golden Razor Blade that was in the chocolate bars. So off went the horse in a hurry to find the chocolate bars. He spent all the money he had (which wasn’t much) to buy a chocolate bar and by pure random lucky chance, there was a Golden Razor Blade in it!! So he went to the candy store and gave the person the razor. But the person did not want it so he ate it and also ate his finger. After he ate his finger he pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse in the stomach and out crawled the corn while exclaiming “Deja blue.” “Wow!” exclaimed the corn. “I’m sick and tired of being eaten!” So he ran away and decided to live on the Amazon River Bank.

Chapter 3

He got bitten by a venomous snake that caused the color to change to a nasty green! He fell in the river and floated into the village of jungle book. There he met Mogle who was being chased by Balue. Mogle grabbed the corn and through him at Balue to help him escape. But then, the 7 dwarfs captured him and brought him to Snow White. As they brought him to the boiler, Tinkerbell appeared! Only she was out of fairy dust oh no! What was she to do to the little corncob?! She was very moody at this point and wanted to go home so she carried the cob to Neverland, but as she was flying she accidentally dropped him in Paris where the cob meet a tiny little chef…a rat. The rat, also known as Ratillo, took the cob and brought him to the kitchen and set him down next to all the ingredients that he was about to use. Then he used the cob as a garnish and carried it out to Ego, who coughed all over him. The cob caught a cold and then caused Ego to die of food poisoning! The corncob had been dropped in parasitic waters and Ego threw up the dish instantly! He then was beamed up by a little Vulcan man. All he I said was “interesting,” and sent him to Jupiter. Once he got there he fell into a volcano and died. He made a deal with the devil to come back as the tooth fairy. He now stalks kids who don’t believe in him. So being the tooth fairy he hatched a plan. To take over Christmas because everyone loves Christmas!!!

Chapter 4

So the tooth fairy collected all the teeth he had ever collected and built a wall around the North Pole. Then he scaled the wall and headed towards Santa’s house. Once he arrived at Santa’s house he changed all of the chocolate cookies to laxatives and then went reindeer tipping. After they went reindeer tipping, the tooth fairy turned into an elf that was way to tall, so he was a human. Santa met up with him and mistaken him for an elf named buddy. So he told him to go to New York. Then Santa went to the bathroom. So “Buddy” went though seven layers of candy cane forest, past the Sea of Swirly-Twirly Gumdrops. And passed through the Lincoln Tunnel. He soon found his father. His fathers name was Mr. Perry who soon forced “Buddy” to go to Iraq. While he was there, he learned a new song from Achmed that goes like this, “Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back, I had a nasty plan, for Christmas in Iraq.” After that he got on a plane to America and learned a new profession. That’s right a drug dealer. One day on the job he comes across the Easter bunny. He convinces the Easter Bunny to stuff all the Easter eggs with “cheese.” But he hated his job and punched his boss and got fired. He did not know what to do next, so he joined a hobo gang under a bridge. They were called “the happy hobos.” They then became a rapping band. As a rapping band they wanted to get money. So they went to the battle of the bands and they had got to the finals by playing their famous rap,” Mary had a Psychotic Lamb.” And then they had to face Michael Jackson.

Chapter 5

Michael Jackson rapped his famous piece “I’m only half a man.” The judges decided that the happy hoboes were the winners. With the money he won he bought the ginger bread man. Gingie was the only friend the corncob has ever had. He promised the Ginger bread man that he would never be eaten, he lied so a stalk of corn bushel in his place. Gingie did not know what to do so he ran away to Iraq and begun to fight against two mighty tomato armies of doom with his past life the tooth fairy of Christmas past! He came and said, “Your request has been denied.” Then he pulled out a remote launching nuke blowing up all off Iraq including the tomato army. After blowing up Iraq he realized how much he enjoyed blowing up things so he changed his name to Susie and moved to Montana for a simple life. While he was in Montana he ran into Miley Cyrus who was disguised as Hannah Montana! But little did they know that Swiper had swiped the thanksgiving turkey. Swiper tried to give it to the evil witch, but the astreyas took it to Gabbaland. So they started to Gabbaland, but they didn’t want to get lost so they dropped bread crumbs while they walked do they didn’t get lost. When they weren’t looking, someone ate their breadcrumbs.

Chapter 6

Angered, they called the Transformers who ripped Starsky and Hutch (the breadcrumb eaters) to pieces. Wow what a day! He was so tired! As he walked through he woods all he wanted was a peach cobbler, cupcakes and prunes. But then oh who did he see, but the wolf following little Red Ridding Hood! He must beat the wolf to her so he can eat her himself. He ran to the cottage and began to dress up as the granny. Then the wolf walked in, and pulled out a bazooka. He called to his ninjas and they beat up the wolf and ate his hair off his back. Then the ninjas left the wolf in the middle of the woods and the little animals took him to their home: sleepy hollow. While the muskrat tended to his wounds, the headless horseman came out of nowhere and died!!! Because he was headless! They soon realized the muskrat was actually a beaver and told them to talk to Aslan. They did not want to talk to Aslan because they are afraid of lions. So they decided to talk to Aslan the polar bear. He told them to go to the land of blue penguins to find the silver pacifier. They were on their way to get the pacifier, when they were attacked by man-eating hairy apes. But Kirby came and ate the apes. Then suddenly Kirby exploded and out popped an egg, which had Yoshi in it. Yoshi forced them into Marioland and sent them to save Princess Peach. On their journey to Marioland they heard word that peach had sadly passed away L so instead they must come to Temple Christian School to find the Princess Jordan!

Chapter 7

Princess Jordan was beautiful! Her blonde hair and brown eyes made her have the powers to bring Princess Peach back to life. But first they have to get by Prince Jared. Since prince Jared wouldn’t let them by they got a gangster Elmo to impale prince Jared. Then he cut off his head with a machete and tied a string to his head and played tetherball with it. Then a giant pushed the off button, which ended the game. So they went back to find the silver pacifier. Then they got distracted by a butterfly and started chasing it. They caught the butterfly and then they realized that they had been distracted so they set off to find the silver pacifier. They could not find the pacifier so they went to the land of Hyrule to help Link save the princess Zelda, yes another princess. All these princesses got tired of being captured, so they formed a “lets-not-get-captured-and-become-assassins-and-get-back-at-those-people,” or LNGCABAAGBATP, for short. During the first meeting, princess Jordan demanded that princess peach sprinkle magical pixie peach fuzz on Jared to make him undead but by doing that all of the authors that wrote the story appeared!!! And they became the main characters because NO ONE KNOWS WHO THEY ARE ANYMORE!!! So each was granted a spirit crowns with different colors of the rainbow so they could tell the different! Once they picked out the ones they wanted they decided to ruff off to the nearest Starbucks and drink all of the coffee they could possible drink.

Chapter 8

So our “Heroes” (yes heroes I don’t know when they became heroes but they are now!!! Maybe they rescued a baby from a tree! Or scaled a building! Or rescued the world!!! Or saved…a… worm from suffocation… kind of anti climatic…) so our heroes went to go do some hero work. They went to go and save a cat out of an airplane. They gave the cat to Alex to hold. Then the plane hit some turbulence and she fell on the emergency exit hatch and dropped the cat out of the plane and it fell to its death and it hit the pavement. Alex then left the story to drown her sorrows in her pool full of pudding (tapioca flavor) Zach, with his pink crown, then took everyone else’s crown to become the rainbow king, Zach, with legions of white Supremes Vikings, and a few Muslims (?), took control of Germany, Kentucky, Paraguay, and the city of Moscow. Zach, being the crazy man (?) he was, declared war in David. Meanwhile Steven, Jeremy, and James became Jedi masters and defeated the Empire. Meanwhile, meanwhile the girl authors of the story (minus Alex) danced on the ruins of the Empire and sang songs, while eating pizza and training monkeys in Karate. (They were very excellent multitaskers.) While they were doing this, Alex met her friend Ariel in Nirvana. Ariel told her to go save the heroes from all the cheese, and to help her; Ariel turned her wand and sent her to David’s throne. Once Alex arrived at David’s throne, she found David to be corrupt and so she called upon the Jedi masters once again to destroy a kingdom.

Chapter 9

While they were fighting David, Zach had learned three powers that know one knew about that could help him rule the world and that no one could take away from him. The masters fought David and made him a Jedi master and banned together and were going to overthrow Yoda. On David’s way to overthrow Yoda, he tripped on a banana peel and broke his clavicle. Zach then came out of nowhere and started doing the extremely sacred rain dance, which actually caused Emily to appear. (The Goddess of rain and all embarrassing sacred rain dances). Zach then got scared of Emily (The Goddess of rain and all embarrassing rain dances) and her giant MUSCLES and rain away. Meanwhile, David was limping around looking for the nearest hospital. To his surprise… Emily was closer then he thought… Emily felt sorry for him and tried to show him the way to the hospital. On the way she took a wrong turn and David fell into a pit of spikes. David dragged himself out and continued to find the hospital they then came across the road and they crossed it. But David was limping and got hit by an 18-wheeler. Then Emily left him there because she didn’t have a shovel to scrape him off the pavement.

Chapter 10

After the funeral, Zach brought David back to life to become his #1 general. David then thanked the rainbow king by showing how to combine his color crowns to form the black crown. Then for some strange reason, African warriors joined Zach. Zach now ruled over Paraguay, Moscow, Kentucky< Germany, and the entire continent of Africa. David then sought revenge on the Jedi masters and E.G.O.R. (Emily Goddess of Rain). He had already gotten rid of Steven by locking him in a steel coffin, launched into space, without a pen or pencil. Then… drum roll… the cob of corn awoke! His head hurt really bad (probably from all that thinking to become alive) and he was surrounded by poppies. As he tried to figure out what to do, he saw a city made of Emeralds! But the poppies made him really tired so he fell asleep yet again. The Jedi masters saved Steven from the coffin. They decided to make an agreement with Zach and joined him taking over China. But wait! … Master Jeremy had already ruled China, Japan, and Taiwan. (Cause he’s Asian). So there was no need to take over China. Master Jedi/ninja Jeremy then banned with Miss Princess Jordan to teach the whole world English! As Miss Princess Jordan is dreadfully scared of those none English speakers she wanted to get rid of them to make the world a better place J So the world would be able to understand each other better and not to fight so oh yes Jeremy and Jordan are so lovely!

Chapter 11

So Jeremy became King and Jordan his Queen! They had a lovely honeymoon in Paraguay which is owned by Zach who is growing even more powerful with his army expanding, and for once, Zach decided to stop conquering the world and stick with Moscow, China, Kentucky, Paraguay, Germany, Japan, Taiwan, and Texas! Then Zach decided to give Texas to Steven where he now runs the largest knife factory ever. Whoohoo! James felt left out so he became Jeremy’s bodyguard and would protect him with his life. So Jeremy and Jordan fled to Madagascar to party with the lemurs. But also take it over. In Madagascar they found Melissa, QUEEN OF THE LEMURS!!! Melissa got all the lemurs together and they partied all night. While partying, they decided to make some smores! But then they realized they didn’t have any chocolate! So they decided to wee Willy Wonka to help them steal the throne from Zach (because, little did they know, chocolate was his only weakness!) As they formulated a plan, Jordan decided that her and Jeremy should take a little break from their marriage but Jeremy refused! And suddenly Zach told all his powers, which are: 1 he’s immortal, 2 he can bring other back to life, and 3 I wont tell you. But Zach did not know that the Jedi masters were standing behind him with a chocolate shooting bazookas. But shogun David (his official title) sliced their bazookas in 3 with his purple sword-scythe with chain! David then told Lord Zach to run for his friggin life! Because chocolate was all over the floor. So Zach ran and ran and ran out of the story! Just as David was about to have his big dramatic duel!

Chapter 12

Jeremy quickly got a divorce with Jordan. And Jared came back from the grave. So Steven got angry because if you kill someone they are suppose to die. So Steven got an 18-wheeler and ran him over then backed up and crushed him some more. Then I chopped him up and feed him to the sharks. Then I burned his remains and composed them. But wait! Steven can’t go through with such an act and get away with it! So Emily (E.G.O.R.) and (E.G.O.K)- Emily Goddess of Karma- flew down to where Steven was and picked him up by his ear and forced him to clean up all of the chocolate on on the floor that Zach ran away from. But wait… poor Jordan she was so depressed from the divorce that she was already cleaning up the chocolate- comfort food. No instead, Emily (E.G.O.R)(E.G.O.K) made Steven chase Zach out of the story and bring him back!!! Meanwhile David was preparing for his dramatic duel… Kelsey then suddenly appeared and made everyone lose the Game! As she was laughing maniacally at her evil deed King Zach appeared. Since he was gone when she had made everyone lose, he had no idea why everyone was turning into a mob. So he got scared and James and David formed an alliance with Jeremy and destroyed Steven. He was defeated. They defeated him because he killed Jared again. They combined their powers and brought Jared back. And they made Tiffany a Jedi master also.

Chapter 13

So Tiffany journeyed across the land to find a way to forbid the “cursed one”! He was caught eating deep fried lettuce! Ewwwww Grease!!! Grease is gross! Get rid of it! So Princess Jordan came and admonished all grease in the world J but oh no! The cursed on escape now! Then Steven made a deal with the devil to come back as a random person hunter. He then found Jared and feed him to an elephant. Jared got tired of being killed and brought back to life, and decided to change things up. He reincarnated himself as an invincible King with identical powers as Zac! He went to Kelsey, Ellie, and Princess and formed a Kingdom of their own! They soon grew bored and Steven got a lot of flour and threw it on the general area of which Jared was. Being covered with flour. He took a 16” Bowie knife and sliced open his stomach and grabbed his large intestine and shocked him with it. Another one downJ. It was raining. I could feel the damp air wisp around me as t stood in the pasture of my once beloved father. The Sun was black and white pierced through the trees from the sky. I stood watching the dancing forest before me, but… I saw something… something I couldn’t describe. It stood there mocking my every move, its eyes red with anger. I began to sweat, just its looks made me liquefy. It was hideous… a beast with no sense of sanitation. I drew my sword, he drew his. I swung my sword at him and yelled “DIE YOU FAUL BEAST!!!”………..

“It appears I have won,” as I snickered to myself. The beast had shattered into a million little pieces. Something want right. I kneeled down and looked at the remains of my foe. I soon realized I just attacked a mirror…woops! But then it hit me!!! An eighteen-wheeler slowly grinded to a halt.

Chapter 14

Then Billy stepped out of the eighteen-wheeler. Jeremy was still alive but in a lot of pain. Billy then took Jeremy’s sword and took a step back. Billy said, ”I told you I was going to kill you.” Then Jeremy laughed. Billy was astonished and asked, “Why are you laughing your about to die!” then Steven ran Billy over with a different eighteen-wheeler. Then Steven got out of the eighteen-wheeler and grabbed Billy and put him in the back of the eighteen-wheeler. Then Steven put high caliber shells in there and lit a fuse and blew Billy up. After the fire ended we went to go on recover his body it was all burnt and had 3 large balls in it. J It reminded me of Swiss cheese. Zach was alone and tired of being alone so he used his final power of cloning. He made 3 million of himself and left his castle to find the others. When he left he found Billy dead and couldn’t find Jared so Zach killed everybody in the world, took their bodies to Iceland, destroyed all the boats except his, brought everyone back to life, and left everyone their with a shock collars (couldn’t be taken off) so if they left they would die. Oh and they are indestructible and waterproof and only I have the key.

Chapter 15

James had a plan. He ran away and left so he died and went to heaven but he got to watch everything that happened. Because he is in heaven, he is now happy in paradise and does not have to be toyed with shock collars anymore. I sat there alone. Alone in another world unreal to me. Iceland wasn’t where I was meant to be. Alone in the cold, I walked in the damp snow. I was alone… except for the fact EVERYONE IN THE WORLD was with me… but I was alone. The Jedi masters, David master of darkness, Steven master of killing Jared and random characters, James master of death, Tiffany master of elements, and I master of being…ASIAN!!! We banded together to free the universe of alien control. So they built a spaceship and headed off to find the alien civilizations, but just as they were about to leave the atmosphere the engine went out and their ship came hurtling toward the earth. The earth was completely made of ice… we hit earth and we landed in the ice sea… our rocket ship landed in the water! Billy and Jared dragged their girlfriends out of the water and they became invincible to the harsh winter cold. The rest died.

Chapter 16

But we did not die because James is the master of death. So he brought us all back to life with a two extra powers (yes, even more powers!!!) We were back alive Whoohoo. Sadly as a result of Billy and Jared invincibility to the cold, bad things happened. Without them knowing a side effect of this is that your body would under while you slept after 9 months Billy and Jared found out they were each having a baby (do to the internal surgery) as they were giving birth there was a lot of pain. When the babys came out the grabbed knives and stabbed Billy and Jared to death then they dragged them out of the building and pushed them in the ice sea. Then they started laughing and accidentally slipped and fell in to. Steven watched the whole thing. Yah! I laughed and yes I am evil. Then they jumped out of the ice sea and killed Steven. Then everyone partied with the lemurs! These lemurs then saw the peoples plight and decided to flood the Earth and make it a jungle! While in the jungle, the people reverted to the Stone Age and started to carry bows and lose the English language. I stood there (I’ve been standing a lot lately… it makes for a great dramatic monologue) I stood there watching my friends revert back to the Stone Age. I always wondered why they named in the Stone Age. Why no the rock age… Well whatever enough dramatic monologue. They still partied even in the Stone Age.

There once was a boy named David.
He then reverted to a native.

He had a great fright,

And then took a knife,

But he then saw a street he had to pave it.

Chapter 17

This is a good limerick. David did not like is so he attacked Jeremy but could not kill him because James is the master of death. James then decided to get rid of David instead of Jeremy. And he decided to also bring Jared back once again. So Jared who was alive once again! Was so tired of being killed he decided to go to the master of death to ask if he could live forever. James, master of death, decided this was a good plan, but with one catch: to join him as his apprentice! Well Jared accepted, but before he could the cursed one stole his soul and I, Zach, sealed it in a hidden safe and destroyed the map and key. David, now a spirit, was still master of darkness. He blinded James and all the other authors then, while James was distracted possessed him. Damis, the new lord of darkness and death, was getting tired of this never-ending story. So he sucked all the characters into a different dimension except! Jeremy, Emily, Zach, and Ellie. Damis then challenged all 4 to a duel to end the story once and for all! But then a tornado came up the day before the duel and swept away David! And he was forever gone!

Chapter 18

Steven got bored because there were no random people to kill so he went dimension hopping. He went to all the dimensions and found where Jared’s soul was being kept. But he didn’t want to have his soul found because he hates random people. So he destroyed the portal to that world which means Jared can never come back. Then Steven got everyone in the same dimension. Then we all met up with me. The names Chris… Chris Martin. I sat lounged in the chair without a worry, but today was different. You see, I’m a private eye. I’ve worked with everyone… murders, dames, wisecracks, and teddy bears. This was an odd fellow though not like the others. He talked to me about a suspicious character running around town. I don’t like suspicious characters running around town. He told me this joker was randomly killing random characters randomly!!!! I said, “I know who your guy is… its Stephun Munn. He’s the card you’re looking for.” The “plot” thickens as I left my pen to long on the word “plot”. He soon told me his name. “I’m Lord Nickels for Feet and I acquired your assistance on the matter!!!” You could see the dollar signs rolling in his eyes. “That’s a strange tattoo you got there,” I said. James did not like being possessed by David so he challenged David to a duel and beat him. Then went to help this Chris dude with a tattoo problem or something like that. After solving the tattoo problem James found Chris and Chris and James set of to go get some lunch. They were hungry and it’s hard to have a good meal in the Stone Age.

Chapter 19

While looking, they found Steven Mann. He was trying to purchase a Smith Wesson. Nobody liked this ides so they ran away. Then Zach came and locked Steven in a special dimension with his worst fear. It was him, being as skinny as cheral and a mustache as big as Sonny’s! David was getting tired of floating around, beaten and this ridiculous story. So he cast a spell that the story HAD TO END in the next 3 turns. So he gave his next turn to… But as David tried to end the story the Jedi masters combined their powers and gave Zach the power to not end the story. And they killed David. Randomly Ryleigh appeared! No one remembered who she was because she hadn’t written since the second page. “Hey yall,” she screamed, “Guess what?!? I control fire and water animals!” (They don’t really go together but whatever!) So Random Ryleigh felt really left out so she went to search of an adventure. She called her water animal friends to give her a ride to… Mexico! Ryleigh loved Mexico! And she needed to find the magical small annoying Mexican puppy!

Chapter 20

She found the Mexican puppy. It was a golden retriever with a sombrero. It had passed out in someone’s lawn with a half drunken tequila in its paw. So Ryleigh took him to a party. Then Steven got out of the weird dimension and found Chris and took him back in time to the 300 Movie we landed near the pit of death. Then I yelled, “ You are gay,” and kicked him in and he died. Then Ryleigh’s dog woke up. Out of nowhere a robot monkey came to Steven and told him to seek out Dr. Abdulualeangata. Steven came upon an abandon aquarium. After descending flights and flights… and flights and stairs he was supernaturally shocked to find that the doctor was harvesting an army of Jared clones. He realized that this explained why he kept coming back. Steven realized that he could not do this alone and he left to seek out an astronomical (and partly obnoxious) power that could defeat the Jared army and Dr Abdulualeangata. Steven decided that he could take them on by himself. There was only as many as the eye could see if you were looking through a telescope. I sighed and said, “This is gonna take a while.” So I pulled out an M16 and started plowing them down. Then the ****** ***** gun got jammed. So I used it to start bashing Jared heads in. Then I remembered I had an RPG (Whoohoo) and I used a couple of those but then I noticed a weapon closet. I went in there and locked the door. Jareds kept trying to bang on the door and open the door. I started looking around, all that was in there was a desert eagle with 5 bullets. Then I turned on the lights and saw about 100 artillery shells so I fused them altogether and went out the back door. After the explosion I collected all the bodies and cut off all the heads of the Jareds. It took me forever then I took all the heads and put then on the sharp sticks and put them around Jordan’s house. Then I piled all the bodies in front of her door.

Chapter 21

ANYWAYS!!! “ I captain corncob will stop this being and put a rest to all the random killing!!!” A giant corncob shone in the skies of the dark. I must defeat this… Steven, as they called him, and take my rightful place as the main character!!! With all my superpowers this would be no match for me!!! For I am the great corncob!!! I began my quest to destroy the fiend. I flew (as far as the narrator can throw me) toward the house filled with the remains of Jared clones to find my nemiseseseseses……… I found Steven, but I could not let him see me yet. So I stalked him (pun intended) I was an excellent hider and a skilled fighter. But the corncob did not know that Zach was behind a bush watching him. Zach jumped out grabbed the corncob and ate him. The Jedi masters then gave Steven immortal power. But Steven found that redundant because he works for the devil so he can’t die without coming back. So Steven went on with the day walking around and buying new “toys” (where did you think I got all my stuff). But unknown to Steven, Zach had puked up the corncob and it was stalking Steven again. Steven walked past a fair and wanted to check it out so he went in (no I didn’t pay to get in I’m just evil that way). The corncob followed him to where the worlds largest working microwave. The corncob pulled out his dagger and charged forward and leaped in to the air as Steven turned around and ducted when he saw the corncob. The corncob missed and landed in the giant microwave. Steven then shut the door and turned it on and turned it into popcorn. Then he sold it to some little kids.

Chapter 22

Hi! Yeah corncob dead!!! …… Meanwhile, in Mexico, Ryleigh lay by the coast (getting an amazing tan and eating… “Tripe”) with her Mexican puppy Fernando Rodriguez Miguelito III. Yes, it is the best name ever! Suddenly, her Mexican dolphin friend came close to the shore clicking franticly. “Click Click… Click!” he said. Luckily Ryleigh spoke Spanish dolphin and she knew exactly what he said. “What? People around the globe are randomly being kidnapped, and they are blaming it on a cosmic fluke thing?!? Holy halibut we better go Fernando Rodriguez Miguelito III. Then Zach swooped in and doggy napped Fernando Rodriguez Miguelito III. He took the dog to a safe (with air holes), and locked him away were no one could find him. But Fernando Rodriguez Miguelito III was a very smart dog, so he escaped from his prison. After getting free Fernando Rodriguez Miguelito III found out that Zach was the one who was randomly kidnapping people, so he set off to tell Ryleigh! When he got there, he found that she had randomly found two sidekicks: Shelby Stephan (a.k.a. Adelaide Crapsey) and Kelsey Baily (a.k.a. Madame Lockjaw) together, Ryleigh, Shelby, Kelsey and Fernando Rodriguez Miguelito III became known as “The Weirdest Group of Superheroes Ever!!! (Note the 3 exclamation points) they set to work finding Zach and almost immediately found that he was hiding in Greenland. While pondering why Greenland ISNT GREEN they flew to the white colored Greenland! When they got there, they found that Princess Jordan appeared with a dog to put the rest to shame! Mr. Rookie Regan Soda Pop Turbo We Bennett Thomas Wahl! Jordan was very excited to know that her dog is better than Ryleigh’s! But oh poor Ryleigh didn’t think so, so we had to have a two-dog dog show to see who was better! See what happened is, Jordan sabotaged the dog show, killing Ryleigh’s dog and eating its brain.

Chapter 23

Jordan then began Barking and began a new story about Jordan the Dog-Girl. (This in turn ended the corncob story.)
The End

(Continued with “Jordan The Dog-Girl)

With endings there are new beginnings… but since this story is never ending… there is no point in trying to end it. Because David is trying to end the story, and is a party-pooper we set off to find the magical unicorn horn. But we decided not to and teleported in time back before David tried to end the story!!! After Ryleigh found out that Jordan had killed her dog she was mad and captured Jordan’s dog. She then took it to Steven and told him to kill it. Steven was too lazy to kill the dog so he gave it to his son (yes I have a son there is a picture of him in the Spanish II text book on page 181) My son looked at the dog then chopped him into little pieces and sent it to Jordan in the mail. (Like father like son)(And yes my son is evil)(And no he will not kill you)(HA HA double negative)

Chapter 24

And Steven loved his devilish son

And his eyes were wide with the things he had done.

He took over the worlds of Asia and Kent.

Which sadly he had to craw through a vent.

“A vent?” he asked and talked in dismay,

But Jeremy had run out of things to say.

The Son of Steven had taken the world,

But the corncob came back

And drew his sword!!!

There eyes meet

In the valley or a tent!!!

But I really don’t know

When you’re writing on the flow.

They fought and they fought throughout the night

And suddenly one rose in the darkness of the fight.

Who would it be? The one who took Kent?

Or the one I had thought

Who had come and was sent?

By heaven above, he took out a rent

For the grave upon which he was to lay

When suddenly one screamed the word OLAY!!!

A miracle by chance had happened that day

As they bounded together like molded clay

They fought and they fought

And they fought and they fought

Until they sought

A peaceful reform.

And beneath the rubbish of the battle of Kent

While the smoke on the field or may be a tent.

Stood one the winner who had won the battle

The one who had been eaten by all the cattle.

Yes my friends, the corncob stood,

As he watched the pile of burning wood.

Yes he defeated the ruler of Kent

And walked away and away he went.

And Steven laughed.

Chapter 25

While Steven was laughing he didn’t notice that Ryleigh, Shelby, and Kelsey were sneaking up behind him. So they killed him and threw the corncob in the trash and ruled Kent! The entire thing about killing Jordan’s dog had been a plot. And so they took over Asia and Kent as Queen Ryleigh, Lady Adelaide Crapsey, and Lady Madame Lockjaw! Hahahaha!!! (Insert more evil laughter here). Zach had done nothing to anybody to make them invade his land. So he destroyed them with his vast Viking, Muslim, and African army and hung the three leaders that invaded his land. Then Zach brought Steven back to life and dumped the bodies of the leaders. (Ryleigh, Kelsey, and Shelby) Steven is really frustrating so Princess Jordan came and Prayed to God that He would put Steven away somewhere and fix everyone’s minds so that they would never remembered his existence! So ya, God knew that she had a faith that God could and WOULD do that and He did. J Steven went to be a water boy in hell and no one ever knew he existed at all J SO NO MORE KILLING OF JORDAN’S PRECIOUS PEOPLE/DOGS IN LIFE!!!

Chapter 26

But James brought Steven back since he is the master of death. So Ellie, Ryleigh, and Jordan decided to learn the ancient art and became the masters of life. Now they and the people they choose cannot die and remain alive forever. This pleased Jordan especially and began to choose people. She chose: (Caution not for Jordan or kids that don’t like torture or have pancreas problems) hmm whom should she choose she didn’t choose any person but her dog, which she loves very much. But because she tried to get rid of Steven so he captured her dog using a stun shell, which is a stun gun in a shotgun shell. It delivers 50,000 amps, which will kill Jordan’s dog twice over but since the devil owes him for helping him fill his numbers last week. So the devil told Steven that he would allow Steven to do to the dog whatever he wanted and the devil would not let him die. Then he cut off the dogs tail and forced him to eat it. Then he cut off all the dog’s limbs, dipped them in vodka, vinegar, and salt and sewed them onto the dog. Then I got several hot irons and stuck them in the dog’s eyes. Then because I don’t like long drawn-out tortures, I threw the dog in a wood chipper and then shipped his little body pieces to Jordan with pictures of everything that happened. This should teach all of you not to mess with me. If you do prepare to suffer.

Chapter 27

From hence light wonders through the times of what we love. The lights through trees the earth spins and evil enters in. The devilish fiend named Steven takes the worlds alight and ends form once they came. And he appeared. The gleaming light shone round encircling him. He was the one. The one to fail all the tests that the teachers gave out on Tuesday. Except for Alex! Who made a 90 on my geometry test! And there was much rejoicing. Except when she went to English class and totally got lost on the confusing lessen!!! And there was not much rejoicing. Then randomly a man named Pedro got a stomach ailment and a machete for Christmas!!! Then the Phoenix actually a random girl whose hair bursts into flames when angry, and when at her worst becomes the Phoenix… Flew flaming into the midst of the battle. Arrows flying and the army shot cannons at the beast. She shrieked with every blow. Then Jeremy came and took over the world, because he’s Asian. But then Zach, angry yet again because people keep taking his land found a genie, wished for the only ship, wished for his own planet, and then wished he had invincible air defenses so nobody could get to the planet. The planet already had infinite resources.

Chapter 28

But then James had a plan; he would first take out tiffany. So he snuck up behind her and his sword did the rest. Next to go was Alex. She saw Tiffany was gone so she started to look for her. But James was there and his sword did the rest. Alex was gone too, next was Melissa. James found her picking flowers with Jordan. Then his sword did the rest. Since Shelby saw Melissa and Jordan were gone she attacked James but he prevailed and his sword did the rest. Only four of them left. Emily was walking down the street when the ground opened up and swallowed her. Thanks to James he had the power to control the ground on which you walked on. Ryleigh did not know what happened to Emily so Ellie and Kelsey tried to explain it to her but James suddenly appeared and his sword did the rest. Now all the girls are out of the story and since James is the master of death they cant come back. But Ellie, Ryleigh, and Jordan are the masters of life and therefore can’t lose their souls. They witnessed all this carnage and decided they had 2 options: Bring everyone back and try to start over, of make a pact with James, master of death, and take over the world. This was a very difficult decision. Jordan chose to start over and Ellie to go with James. It was up to Ryleigh. She chose to start freaking out because she does not so well with pressure. She finally decided to bring her sidekicks back (Madame Lockjaw and Lady Adelaide Crapsey) “They’ll help me decide!” she thought. First, Madame Lockjaw and Lady Adelaide Crapsey will be the life holders with the ability to bring themselves and others back to life. Second manner of business… I choose to… solve the mystery of the missing cake.

Chapter 29

Well Jordan knows where her cake is its in Iceland!!! With the rest of the world! I think they should just go take over Hawaii! I’m sure they would be much happier there. So Princess Jordan made the world go to Hawaii.

(Insert Steven’s part here)

There were moving us again. But this time from Iceland to Hawaii. This wasn’t my home; Zanarkand was. There “Heroes” as some of the others caked them were constantly dominating for power and stopped at nothing for control. Thousands died in Iceland from the cold, because the “Heroes” fought among themselves. “Heroes?” more like monsters. Many had different powers to take control and many died. We revolted many times but… failure is our reward. The blood shed was to great to attempt another attack. We prepared ourselves however, for a final stand, a final word, a final story.

-Titus

October 31, 2093

So the “Heroes” joined with Titus and the other guardians of Yuna to fight against the ultimate evil. But we do not know what or who this ultimate evil is. Alone on this planet Zach stood. He was bored so he went down to earth to help defend against the ultimate evil with his vast army.

Chapter 30

But then he realized how much fun evil was and decided to join him. They then plotted to take over the underworld. So they set off to enlist the aid of the power puff girls Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup! They sang the girls theme song as they searched, “Fighting crime, trying to save the world, here they come just in time, the POW…ER…PUFF…Girls. POWER PUFF dododododododo! As they passed by the “heroes” and Titus, they continued singing the song “heroes” and Titus bursted out laughing at the pure idiocy of the song. Then out of nowhere Hades the god of DEATH appeared. He was the ultimate evil! In unison the “heroes” and Titus gasped Hades told Zach that they were going to kill all who opposed them. The two armies charged at each other. This took a long time because they were both going over mine fields filled with anti tank mines. Steven took this time to take a bunch of guys and armed them with AS 50’s (sniper rifles that fires 2000 yards and can fire 5 bullets in 1.5 seconds) oh and some Moab’s were being flown over head. O this is soooooooooo depressing! Kill kill kill what happened to the plot? I think Steven should get locked up with Ursula the sea witch. They would have so much fun so hey I’ll do it! Steven got sent down to the ocean and turned into an ugly octopus! While Jordan, Alex and Tiffany became beautiful mermaids Jeremy turned into Flounder Ryleigh and Kelsey and Shelby became gorgeous starfishes and Ellie became a lovely seahorse with a trumpet and James became Sebastian! Anyone else can be a fishy in the under the sea scene lol so we sang all day and Jordan Alex and Tiffany fell in love and got legs instead of tails and they ran into the princes of there dreams. Along with our princes we built castles by the sea where we could always look at our beloved sea home! Since Steven was with Ursula, she put a curse on Steven! That Steven could NEVA could kill anybody AGAIN! But Steven hired a person to kill Ursula so then the curse was broken. Then a magic light out us back on the battlefield and all the princess were killed and the castles fell apart. And Steven shot Jordan in the back of the head to get even.

Chapter 31

But they did not know that James had gathered an army of Sandmen and sent them to attack. The army prevailed. And James, Jeremy, Zach, Steven, and David won. Ha Ha!!! Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ack!!! Cough Cough! So they all built a castle and made Zach their king of it since he is the strongest. And he is immortal. David and Steven became Knights and Jeremy and James became Zach’s bodyguards. The castle is called the Immortal Asian Dork Death and Random people castle.

Chapter 32
Dec 24, 2093

Christmas Eve, 2093, we finally thought we could take over. We banded together got the final battle. The Battle would change the lives of many lives. This was out time our fight… they were weak now, and was so caught up in there power they built a castle. They really cooked up their demise. They turned out backs on us. They were cruel and diluted because of their underwater adventure. I write this before I leave to war. The hike to the castle will be gruesome, but we will prevail. This is our fight our story.

-Titus

Titus sounds so depressing! And he keeps getting the date wrong… o well his world! Steven only thought he killed me but he didn’t! Hehehehe He shot me all right and I had a lovely funeral that I hope all of you attended (cuz (I love you!) well anyway I was buried in a graveyard in a coffin in the dirt like normal I was supposed to be “dead” but I wasn’t! and I live to tell about it J I woke up and scratched and screamed to get out until finally I busted open the coffin squeezed through and dug my way out! This is the miracle of our era so I have appeared on Opera lol and several other shows which all the hosts believe the sea monster Steven should be Turkeyed.