I wrote this for English class. I guess it’s pretty intense! I hope you enjoy!

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The next morning Brandon reviewed his entry from the night before in his journal.

“Let me outta’ here! I have to tell you something!” he yelled again.

Just like before, about three minutes later a man appeared and let him out. Brandon was brought back to the room with the mirror, low light, and table. He pulled out his journal.

“What do you want now kid?” the man with the deep voice asked him.

“I can prove I did it.” Brandon felt weird saying this, like he was playing a role in a play, reading what he had wrote. The man remembered his line, too.

“How?”

He read his proof to the man.

“That’s how.” He concluded.

The man snatched the journal out of Brandon’s hands and read it to himself. He made a gesture to the officer standing in the corner. The officer grabbed Brandon’s arm and he sighed, thinking he had to go back to the dark room again, but this time he took Brandon to a police car. He put Brandon in handcuffs and locked the door.

They later arrived at the Alpine County Jail for Juveniles. This doesn’t look like Jorge’s house, he thought.

“Why am I here?”

“You killed your daddy, right?”

“Yes.” Brandon shamefully said.

“That’s why.”

The officer took Brandon inside and he was later locked inside a cell, he even had to go to bathroom in front of the other boys there. It was lonely and cold every night, but was even worse than the room Brandon was in before. His sleepless night was gently fading away with utter coldness. He lay in his bed crying, crying about his completely ruined life. He would never get it back, ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments (9)
  • Chelsea :) on May 4, 2009

    Hey girrl! This is such a great story! It should be a new book!

  • Ashley Hyland on May 4, 2009

    This is a very good and suspenseful story. You should consider sending it to a company to make it a book. Maybe you will actually get paid! It is a unique thriller that I’m sure no one has ever really thought of. God luck on future work.
    -Ashley

  • Ashley Hyland on May 4, 2009

    This is a very good and suspenseful story. You should consider sending it to a company to make it a book. Maybe you will actually get paid! It is a unique thriller that I’m sure no one has ever really thought of. God luck on future work.
    -Ashley

  • Joey on May 7, 2009

    This is a very good story. I hope you go far in the writing world.

  • Medium-Sized Billy on May 8, 2009

    This took a while to read, but if you commit, you’ll get really into it like I did. Simply marvelous!

  • Bill on May 11, 2009

    I have never read a story like this. Is it based off of that kid who killed his father and his father’s friend? Oh well, it’s one tof the best stories I’ve ever read.

  • Mini-McCleney on May 14, 2009

    I love chicken nuggets… but this is good too.
    Do you think pregnant ladies are sexy? I do. It’s too bad that mom died, especially if she was pregnant when she died…
    I have to go get a towel for my peerspiration issues.
    I’M SWEATING UP A STORM!

  • John L. on Jun 8, 2009

    WOW! What a bad little boy! I read your poem “An Ode to Friendship” and they are both so great. I would print this out and give it to my friends like I did with your poem, but I don’t think I have enough paper. Well, continue your career in writing and you would be a great author!
    -John

  • davchild on Sep 24, 2009

    Talk about suspenseful! This is amazing.

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