Have you ever glazed into the eyes of an Aspie and wondered how information, visual stimulae and other sources of information are processed?  Well as an Aspie I have noticed that when comparing Aspies to NT’s, there seems to be a different process of eye movement.  Aspies seem to have deep set, penetrating and mostly stationary eyes.  By this I mean I think our eyes through lack of rapid eye movement cause us to process less information in the social world around us. 

I  have always had sensory issues with both light and sound. When I am surrounded by bright lights, more so flurouscent lights I can sometimes become irritated by the sound or more so the rapid flickering of them.  I used to get irritated by flurouscent lights which did not work.  The light that constantly flickered on and off in a building or some other public area.  Just the sound of the flickering and the distraction of the light could be enough to drive me into sensory overload. 

When navigating the social world, I think as an Aspie the reason I struggle is because my brain can only process so much information.  Instead of using natural ability or automated cognition, I find myself having to concentrate really hard on what people are trying to say and often I found myself on the outer.  This means I can be sitting around a group of people and rather than feel like a participant I feel more like an observer.   I look at ways of trying to escape when this happens.   I know it is difficult to just get up and leave so I try to find a way out.  This is not always easy as you can imagine. 

The social structures of the world seem confusing.  Why is there hierarchy?  Why do I have to try which I find extremely difficult to do to fake it.  I find faking it difficult and even if I attempt it I more than likely fail. This in itself causes a lowering of self esteem.  The job interview and selection process as well as dating are areas where one has to try and fake it and this is not easy.  Trying to brag on about so called good and quality points is not easy.  I find it difficult to write about my so called good points as I feel it often is like lying or more importantly having to make up fictional stories which seem entirely self fabricated.  The publishing industry is one area I am now finding a difficult area.  I have been knocked back a few times now with trying to publish. However self publishing seems less controlled.  I don’t have to conform to some process which more times than not works against me. On Thursday 13th October I will be addressing a Rotary Meeting in Brisbane, Australia on a topic ‘Living life the unconventional way as a person on the Autism Spectrum’.  This topic will describe and more so explore the challenges and difficulties I confront in living within a world that has a great deal many inflexible processes.  I write from personal experiences as there is no better place than to write about how Asperger Syndrome affects me and how I see the world around me.  I see the schooling process as a conditioning process.  It prepares a person for adulthood but for Aspies I think it seems to cause us mostly grief.  We seem to fall through the cracks within a conformity process.  Regular persons go through a 12 year schooling evolutionary process where we are conditioned for later in life.  Have you ever wondered why school is 6 hours a day?  Why certain activities and learning are encouraged?  I sometimes see Autism as a second language.  It is like people on the Autism Spectrum need an army around us to help us get through the challenges and struggles of our day to day lives.  We need people to explain things to us so that we understand and often our ways of thinking and thought are not clearly visible and understood by others around us.