I have left it..yeah..really left it. It was a big decission in my life. I had a dream to make a new life in my next destination. Netherlands such a big star for me. Shining and giving a hope for a woman like me. I have married with a Nederlander and made a big step to leave my hometown. It was a dream before but a struggling now.

I miss my Kupang so badly. A rocky small town in Indonesia. A small island where the sun always shinning there. The sky looks like in the painting and the beaches smile to everyone friendly. Perfect sunrise and sunset. Fresh fish and delicious grilled corn along Eltari street. Even I still can hear the soft wind crossing coconut leaves, smell the and the voice of children were playing on the street. When I look up to the sky, all of my memories come back. Because Kupang has a perfect sky in the world that I have ever seen in my life. So starry and clear. The stars are sparkling and dancing in the different colours.

Here, in this modern country I just feel so small like a star in the sky. I have everything in Holland. But it doesn’t mean that I have a happiness like I had in my hometown. As a foreigner I must to go to school to learn Dutch. That is one of the rules of Netherlands goverment. But my biggest motivation is I want to continue my study in this Tulip Country. But I found that life is not easy here. This language makes me crazy. I have problem with my grammar and when I could make a great writting for my task, my docent thought that I copied it from internet. My docent is not so friendly. I feel that she doesn’t like myself. If I gave a comment or opinion about something, she just like did not want to give me an attention or looked at me strangely even though she gave me some questions. She cutted my sentence off. I always get different reaction from her. When I was a child I thought that my teacher in my elementary school was a monster. Now, my Dutch docent more than a monster. She makes my spirit off. Shitt! I should not write about her, but she influences me well. I always love weekend. Because I do not need to see her face even it’s possible to meet her in this small city where i’m living now, Bergen Op Zoom.