What do you think, when you hear the words “I’ll never forgive myself”? It seems that each one of us will eventually say this at some point in life – perhaps more than this. It strikes me that those with great power, who are also regarded as evil, often drum it into themselves that they are beyond this measure, this ability to feel remorse.

However, I am not one of these men. I am simply a young man, who was excessively lucky and threw it all away. Now I live with existential demons so fierce, I fear my time alone, for I must duel with them just to fall asleep. This is because I do not feel that I deserve sleep. Rest should be earned; it should be a ticket you gain every day for surviving twenty-four hours of the events which surround every one of us, as we all move towards the day when the bell will toll for good.

I am a petty insomniac who swings between striving for self-confidence, and throwing myself into the jaws nature, to be preyed on all sorts of hungry beasts, all within the same day. Let me take you back to where this all began, and how it is that I ended up in this situation, so that you may avoid my mistakes as best you can.

My name, my name is not important: consider me a fragment of your imagination, as you read this, building up a picture of my complexity and my fallacies, my traits both positive and negative. For a physical model, consider me of average height, of standard looks, Caucasian, short brown hair – some look right through me; others do notice me, as per their taste. My personality is for you to judge, as I consider this my trial, and my punishment will be dealt (as it has been throughout this retelling)… I wish solely to be known as the Unforgiven.

With the breaking of dawn, the sun crept across the sky like the smile on my face. I looked to the left of me and I saw the most beautiful thing I can ever recall seeing. To wake up with your lover – my life’s love, the one I truly cherish and do to this day– is there a more satisfying event? No matter what happens from then on, you have spent time with someone you would sacrifice yourself for.