Once two friends were swimming in a large river. They swam far out into the stream and found themselves caught in a strong current they had not noticed until it seized them and hurried them downstream. After a time, they heard the roaring of a mighty waterfall ahead. They knew that unless they could escape, they would hurtle over the edge into exploding destruction below. Fortunately, those on shore observed them. Suddenly, beside each of the swimming men there landed a life ring, with the word “Rescue” painted on it in white letters. Each ring was connected to a strong rope stretching toward the river’s bank. A voice cried out, “Take hold of your life ring, and we will pull you to safety!”

But the one man said to his friend, “I believe there must be other equally useful means of escaping the destruction of the falls ahead. Besides, who would imagine designing a rescue device in the shape of a circle? I personally far prefer a squarish design, never having had an inclination for rounded corners.” While he eyed his life ring critically, his friend swam a few strokes and took hold of the other ring. He pulled it over his head, tucked it under his arms, and took hold of the rope with both hands. “Put on your life ring!” he urged his companion. “Don’t you hear the sound of the falls ahead?”

But the first man replied, “And another thing… This device is entirely unsuitable in its coloring. You will notice that the ring itself (that shape appalls me instinctively, indeed it makes me shudder!) is red, with white lettering. I find this an entirely unsuitable color combination. It offends my sense of proper pigment and well-conceived hue, which I have reason to suspect are at least as refined as your own. A blue colored ring with black lettering would be much more to the point. Don’t you agree?” But his companion cried in alarm, “Friend, take hold of your ring without further delay! Don’t you hear the rumble of our destruction approaching? Don’t you see without this unexpected good fortune arriving as it has we must both die?”

“Why be alarmed and raise such an outcry?” said the other, scowling at the life ring floating in the water before him. “Why not consider with me how each person should really be permitted to design a square, a triangle, a box, or even a globe shape and perhaps paint it himself to suit his particular tastes, so that what he created met with his approval and satisfied his instincts and preferences on the deepest levels?” Just then, from the shore came a cry, barely audible above the thunder of the cataclysm ahead. “Take hold now, and we will pull you ashore! Hurry! Don’t wait!”

The man who had slipped on his life ring already, took hold of the rope and looked toward the shore. The rope began to tighten and pull him toward the bank. As he departed, his friend called out after him with some frustration, “I find it very limiting to have a single option for rescue presented before me in such a unsuitable manner. It doesn’t meet my mind or my tastes, or frankly, my conceptions of how such a thing should be done. I am sure there are many more like me. I believe we should form various supportive committees to study the matter further. Perhaps we could form those interested into like-minded groups who might come up with any number of far more suitable and effective alternatives…”

But his words were swallowed up in billowing thunder as the great current hastened its flow. The surging waters swept the man and the untouched life ring beside him over the edge of the falls. He disappeared into blinding oblivion below. His friend, however, clung to the rope, and those who had thrown the life rings to both men dragged him to the shore, and to safety.

c2010 Skip Johnson
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