The Village- Part 4- The Orphan

David Crerand on Sep 6, 2009

Tags: David Crerand, gothic, horror, inquisition, retribution, the village, vampire, vengeance

The Village series continues. When a vampire feeds upon the innocence of youth, vengeance and retribution are swift.

“Don’t you die yet, you bastard,” I yelled into his face. “For I shall have your blood!” And, as he gasped his last breaths I stole what remained of his power.

I did not kill the last member of that clan. I wanted her to gaze upon my handiwork. I wanted her to realize that the landscape of her world had changed. I left a note, for her and for all her kind. Feed on those who would victimize children and you will be allowed to live. Victimize children yourselves and you will be destroyed. The message was simple and retribution was quick.

For several hundred years I traveled throughout the capitols of Europe and the Middle East, feeding on the dregs of humanity and disciplining the misbehaviors of the immortals. My childlike appearance is both my shield of protection and my pronouncement of those who I am sworn to protect. Of late, I have resettled in Los Angeles California. It is the center for the production of child pornography. It is well known for its incidents of social debauchery. Within the affluence and arrogance of great wealth the immortals frequently find safety and seclusion. I intend to stay for a while, because I expect the hunting shall be good.

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Comments (7)

Mr Ghaz on Sep 6, 2009
Great post!..a very interesting story..very well written piece and wonderful presented..well done!! I LIKED IT! thanks for sharing this magnificent stuff.
Momof4 on Sep 6, 2009
Well done, wonderfully written. I really liked it!
Faith Hodge on Sep 7, 2009
Interesting with clear detail. Well written.
clafleur on Sep 7, 2009
thumbs up
Anne Lyken Garner on Sep 7, 2009
Well written. You have a terrific imagination!

Maybe there could’ve been a bit more active scenes. For example, ‘the power coursing through me was intoxicating’ (though a good expression) could’ve been written in a discriptive way to *show* that it was rather than telling your reader that it was. It could’ve lit a fire under your (his) skin, exploded in the veins like… etc. This would make it less cliched. This is just my opinion and may be totally incorrect, so don’t mind me at all.

Sometimes telling your reader what to think can leave the particular piece of writing a bit flat.

Have you ever thought of putting all this on a serialized blog?
XXElleXX on Sep 7, 2009
A comment from Elle:

You consistently deliver quality and the series for me is becoming more intriguing. Although I have to admit that at the beginning, I thought ‘Oh dear David, I’ve read something similar before’ and it was a bit dull here and there.. but I was nicely surprised as I continued reading the rest of it. The historical setting held my interest as did the the orphan’s first-person account of how he became one of the undead.
We have learned that power is a positive force if it is used for positive purposes.
RS Wing on Oct 1, 2009
I really love your violent horror serials. Makes me want to go snap a few necks and rib cages…..blood , well I’m not to fond of drinking from that challese but I really dig your horror imagery. It’s inspiring in some sick way, I have to admit. From Amsterdam to L.A.. California better watch out….there’s a Vamp on the loose. Great story to your series David

The Village- Part 4- The Orphan

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