It was like any other late Friday night. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, browsing through 4chan for a giggle at someones expense. All I ever do on 4chan is look at pictures. After about 5 advice dog threads and a rare EFG posting, 4chan or Firefox was malfunctioning. Either way, it started to fuck up royal. Each time I clicked an image, it would only load halfway, if at all. I blame 4chan.

So, I did the only thing I could do to enjoy my image viewing experience; I switched between Firefox and IE, copying faulty image links from the former and pasting them to the latter. I’m glad to say it worked pretty well. 

It was about 3 AM when I wandered into /gif/ and started to explore. I was copying some links from what looked to be a pretty good porno thread when it happened. I pasted a link into IE and hit enter, then immediately switched over to Firefox to get some dirty digital gold. After I had the link I wanted, I switched back over to IE to both enjoy the picture that had been loading and to paste a new link.

Instead of seeing tan, wet booty like I had expected, I saw something a lot different. It was, instead, a rear view of a pale shirtless kid in front of a computer, switching between windows every few minutes. It didn’t really take long to figure out it was me in the picture. The camera started to turn. Slowly but surely, it turns all the way around and focuses on some object. The camera zooms. Staring directly at the back of my head is a paper white face. Its eyes were wide as a tennis balls and empty to boot, save for 2 black dots in the center of each eye. Its nose was very small and narrow, but very curved and quite pointed. The most distinguishing feature of this thing was its smile. Its smile was quite literally from ear to ear and was whiter than its face was. None of the teeth were pointed or anything like that, they were just… wider than teeth should be.

At this point the beejesus is scared out of me, to say the least. Part of me wants to turn around and stare right back at this thing, while the part of me that clearly isn’t retarded wants to just sit still and watch the image. Naturally, I listened to the part of me that isn’t retarded. The camera starts to turn again and points at my alarm clock. The bright crimson numbers shining on the clock read “3:19″. I glanced down at the clock on my computer. 3:19. The image froze there.

I summoned my manhood from bottom to top and turned around. As soon as I started to turn, I heard a scurrying across the wood floors, like a dog trying to run on wet linoleum. I looked around for any remaining bit of the source, but only saw a hunched figure fling the door open before it vanished. 3 hours I sat there, frozen in my seat, glued there by a combination of fear that any movement could bring back that creature and the disbelief of what I just witnessed.

I think I’m finished clicking .gif’s on 4chan for a while.