It was after five in the morning and Steve and Andy were spending this time running up and down the aisles at the Wal-Mart in Awatto. The two regrouped at the front of the store. “Damn it, where is he?” Steve asked. “We have to get home.”

“We could have his name paged over the loudspeaker,” Andy suggested.

“Okay, you do that. I’m gonna go check the restrooms,” Steve said and took off toward the restrooms.

Andy walked up to the customer service desk where an overweight woman with a wart was sitting. “Excuse me but could you page Joey Shay? We’re ready to go and we can’t find him,” Andy seemed embarrassed as he spoke but the woman obliged and paged for Joey across the store. After a couple of minutes, Steve returned to the customer service desk but Joey was nowhere around. “Nothing?”

Steve shook his head. “No, and we can’t wait any longer. We have to get back to Baldwin by 5:30 and it’s at least a 25-minute drive.” The two left the Wal-Mart and walked through the parking lot to Andy’s Jeep Cherokee. Steve went to the passenger side and saw Joey asleep in the back. “Son of a bitch! The asshole’s asleep in the backseat!”

“What? You mean we wasted all that time for nothing?” Andy complained, got into the Jeep and unlocked the door for Steve. Steve got in and Andy started the Jeep and drove off. “Think we can make it back to Baldwin by 5:30?”

Steve looked at the dashboard clock that read 5:16. “Absolutely not,” he shook his head again. “Turn here, it’s a quick way home,” Andy obeyed and began heading down the country road away from Awatto.

They had been driving for ten minutes, well over the speed limit. A nervous and frightened look was on Andy’s face as Steve was calmly looking out the window. “We’re fucking lost,” Andy growled.

“We’re not lost,” Steve said. “When you get to the three-way stop, make a right,” Steve calmly instructed.

“We’re lost, Steve! We’re gonna get home late, get busted by our parents and get grounded!” Andy shouted.

“We’re already late. We’re not. And we’re 18.”

“We’re still going to get a lecture and a lecture is ten times worse. My dad has a lecture that could give you a stroke,” said Andy.

“Andy, we’re 18, we’re out of school, going to college in the fall and we have decent jobs. As long as we don’t kill anybody we should be able to do what we want. I think that this summer we do everything we’ve ever wanted to do. Stay out all night, do some exploring, go to bars.”

“I’ve always wanted to go ghost-hunting,” Andy said.

Steve stared at Andy and slowly began to reply, “Ooo-kay,…So I think we should figure out what we want to do and do it. Throw caution to the wind, you know?”

“How can you throw caution to the wind?” Andy asked.

“Do you want to do this or not?”

“Of course. Sure. Yes, yes. I’ll gather some ghost-hunting information and see what’s around here,” said Andy.

“Since when did we agree on ghost-hunting?” Steve argued.

“What? It’s a good idea. It allows us to be out late at night and in some cases trespass.”

“Fine, but next time, I get to choose something,” Steve grumbled,

“I can’t believe that you got us lost,” Andy said under his breath.

The Jeep crested a hill and Steve angrily pointed out to the horizon. “See that? That’s Baldwin! I did not get us lost, we’re taking a back way. I do not get us lost,” Steve defended himself and resumed looking out the window.

“I’m sorry,” Andy apologized. “Nothing looked familiar in the dark.”

“You’ve known me for how long and you still think I’m going to get us lost? And this coming from someone who failed geography on several occasions,” Steve continued to defend himself.

“I said I was sorry!” Andy shouted. “Besides, geography’s just not my thing.

“Which direction do latitude lines go?” Steve demanded.

“What?” Andy was confused.

“Which way? Latitude lines?”

“I don’t know! Up and down?” Andy wrongly answered.

“Wrong!” Steve shrieked. “What the capital of Uzbekistan?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Kuwait?” Andy panicked.

“No one knows the capital of Uzbekistan!”

“Guys, could you be more quiet? I’m trying to sleep,” Joey said from the backseat. “Thank you.”

“Why do we bring him along?” Steve asked.

“He’s your friend,” Andy replied.

“No he’s not. I thought he was your friend.”

“No,” Andy and Steve were silent for a while before Andy spoke again, “Then who the hell’s friend is he?”

2.

Andy and Joey sat together in a booth at a local burger joint.

“So,” Joey began, “the whole point of this sneaking around and ghost-hunting is to rebel against your parents?” he asked.

“Yes, we sneak out, do all sorts of things then sneak back in and no one’s the wiser,” Andy explained.

“But that makes no sense. If you just sneak around no one will know what you’re doing. Plus, you’re 18 so in theory you should be able to do what you want. If you sneak out, won’t that just aggravate your parents?” Joey asked.

Andy was silent. “Well-well, yeah, in theory we should be able to do whatever but our parents won’t let us leave in the middle of the night to go walk around a cemetery.”

“I’m sure they’d have a good reason.”

“I’ve always wanted to get into ghost-hunting. It find it so…”

“Orgasmic?”

“…Original. It’s something out of the norm and it serves something important.”

“No it doesn’t. Besides, Steve didn’t seem too thrilled about ghost-hunting last night,” Joey pointed out.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“I drift in and out.”

“Hey, Andy,” said a cute girl dressed in a tight black shirt that showed off her cleavage, a red plaid skirt, boots and black-dyed hair with a bright blue ponytail. “You, don’t look at my boobs,” she pointed at Joey. “How are you doing Andy?”

“Fine. You ready for your first day at work?” Andy asked.

“Nope. I’m working at a place whose major source of income is from the Paris Hilton sex tape. But thank you for buying lunch for me.”

“You’re welcome, Melanie,” Andy smiled.

Melanie was Steve and Andy’s closest friend. She grew up two houses down from Steve. Melanie was currently in a faux-Goth phase which both Andy and Steve were having difficulty not noticing and now that she was working at an adult toy store, it was very unsettling.

“I’ll go get us our food. What do you want Mel?” Andy got out of the booth.

“I’ll just have a hamburger and fries and a drink.”

Andy walked to the counter and left Joey and Melanie alone. “So what were you two talking about before I got here?” she asked.

“We were talking about his and Steve’s stupid plan to rebel against their parents,” Joey said.

“But Andy and Steve have, like, the coolest parents I’ve ever known,” Melanie said. “What are they planning on doing?”

“The usual things. Violate curfew, stay out all night, trespass in supposedly haunted places,” Joey smiled.

“Haunted places?” Melanie questioned. “But Andy is a huge chicken and they’re 18. They should be able to do pretty much what they want.”

“That’s what I said.”

“Well, hopefully Steve will take possession of the brain,” Melanie sighed.

Andy sat down a tray of food. “What are you two talking about?” he asked.

“Joey was staring at my boobs,” Melanie said as she took her food. “So what’s this about rebelling?” she asked.

“Joey!” Andy whined. “It’s not really rebelling but just getting all this out of our system before college,” Andy explained.

“You’re good at changing your story,” Joey said.

“Why don’t you just tell your parents what you want to do? It’s a lot easier than all this sneaking around,” Mel said.

“Yeah, that will go over well: “Mom, Dad, I”m going to a haunted cemetery tonight.’” Andy took a bite of a French fry. “I know I’d let my kids go.”

“Whatever,” Melanie sighed. “Just don’t do anything to disgrace the dead.”

“Oh, come on, I never disgrace anybody,” Andy said and bit into his hamburger. As he chewed a look of surprise came over his face. He pulled something white out of his mouth and held it up. “The hell…?”

“Is that your tooth?” Melanie asked.

“It-it was a baby tooth…” Andy said embarrassed.

There was a park nearby where Alicia lived so she and Steve were there on the swing set. “I don’t know if I want you doing this,” Alicia said.

“Why not? It’s just going to be me and Andy. Maybe Joey,” Steve defended.

“You seem to spend a lot of time with Andy,” Alicia said.

“Do I detect a little bit of jealousy?” Steve smiled.

“More like annoyance,” Alicia said. “Andy just seems a little immature. And Joey is…well, Joey. You’re going to be traipsing around private property with two guys at night when you could be lying beside me in bed,” Alicia smiled and began swinging faster and higher.

“Andy is my best friend, Alicia. Besides, neither of our parents would allow a sleepover.”

“But you coming to my window at night, climbing in and sleeping together until dawn would be fine by me,” Alicia said and looked lovingly at Steve.

“Ooh, kinky.”

“I wasn’t talking about sex,” Alicia said. “I was talking about lying next to each other in each other’s arms. We never cuddle, we just have sex and go about our normal routine.”

“I’m not a cuddling guy but maybe we could lie to our parents and get a hotel room sometime,” Steve offered.

“Yeah, maybe,” Alicia said distantly. She looked at her watch and jumped off the swing. “I have to get home. I have a church thing I need to get ready for,” Alicia began walking away and Steve had to catch up with her.

“Church thing? You didn’t tell me about it,” Steve said.

“Well, I don’t really want to go but my entire family will be there so I said I’d go.”

“I’ll come with you,” Steve offered.

“I thought you and Andy were going to discuss what to do at night.”

“Andy would understand. I want to come. We never seem to do anything like that together.”

“No, you don’t have to come. I’ll be fine. There’s a few family members I can talk to. It’ll just be boring for you,” Alicia explained.

“Okay, well, if you change your mind, call me.”

The two arrived at Alicia’s front door and they kissed. They pulled away and Steve looked into Alicia’s brown eyes. “Are we still on for tomorrow?” she asked.

“A day of shopping with you? I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Steve said and kissed Alicia again. “I’ll pick you up at eleven, okay? See you tomorrow.”

Steve left and got in his car, drove away and headed to Andy’s place of employment: Tread’s Car Wash. Andy was working hosing out the automatic stall when Steve pulled up. Andy waved to Steve as he parked, got out and walked over to him.

“Hey, Steve. What’s wrong?” Andy asked, noticing Steve’s forlorn face.

“Nothing. Alicia had a church thing to go to. I kind of wanted to spend the evening with her. Oh, well. Have you figured out where we’re going to go?”

“Yeah!” Andy said excitedly. “There’s the Satan House over in the next township, Pinetroost Cemetery and the Downtown Hotel.”

“Satan House?”

“Yeah, apparently this family used to live there and they worshipped Satan and they killed each other or something; I don’t know, I just printed off the file but I want to start tonight, okay?”

“Sure. It’s not like I’m doing anything this evening anyway,” Steve said.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up at midnight and we’ll head out to the Satan House.”

“I’ll probably be asleep but just throw some rocks at the window and I’ll wake up,” Steve said and headed back to his car.

3.

Andy zipped up a large duffel bag and threw on a dark leather jacket. He turned off his bedroom light, threw the duffel bag over his shoulder and left the room. He went through the front door and into the living room. He opened the door to the garage which was extremely crowded with tools, lawn care items and a large tractor. Andy carefully made his way around the edge of the garage by balancing on a thin jut of foundation. He made it to the tractor and began climbing over, sliding across the seat. Andy squeezed between two large tool cabinets and went over to a door that led outside. He quietly shut the door and tip-toed to his Jeep. He drove off down the gravel road toward Baldwin.

Andy slowly drove through town until finally coming to Steve’s house. He parked on the street in front of the house and quietly got out, went around the house and picked up a couple of small pebbles. He began tossing them at a window and waited for a sign from Steve. Andy continued tossing pebble after pebble at the window until Steve finally appeared in another. Steve opened his window, “I’ll be right down,” he whispered loudly. Andy stood just underneath the window and braced himself.

After a couple of minutes, Steve came up behind Andy. “What are you doing?” Steve asked.

Andy screamed. “What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t at your Jeep so I figured you were still back here.”

“How’d you get out?”

“I smuggled a spoon from lunch and tunneled under the wall. The front door, you idiot!”

“I thought you were going to jump out the window.”

“Why go to all that trouble when you can just go out the front door? Come on, let’s go pick up Joey,” Steve walked away and Andy followed close behind.

Andy, Steve and Joey were heading down a country highway. Steve had Andy’s duffel bag in his lap. He unzipped it and looked at Andy. “What’s in here?” he asked.

Andy glanced at the bag and then looked back at the road. “It’s full of supplies. Just in case we need any help.”

Steve began digging around and pulled out two candles and a blanket. He tossed them into the backseat and continued looking. “What the hell is this?” Steve asked pulling out a large whip.

“A whip.”

“Why the hell would we need a whip?”

“I don’t know. It may come in handy,” Andy said. Steve then pulled out a BB gun. “You never know when you may need to give someone a flesh wound.”

“What’s a gun going to do against a ghost?” Steve asked. “A dagger? A pillow? A Bible? Andy, I don’t know what you have planned for tonight but count me out,” Steve said. Steve pulled out a two-liter bottle of clear liquid. “What’s this?”

“Holy water,” Andy replied.

“You have six liters in here! You actually found a priest that would actually bless three two-liter bottles of water to make it holy?” Steve asked.

Andy looked at Steve. “It has to be blessed to be holy?”

“Okay, matches, Cheez-Its, a camera and six liters of drinking water,” Steve said, taking inventory of the rest of the bag. Steve packed everything back into the bag and tossed it in the backseat.

“What am I doing here?” Joey asked.

“It’s a precaution. If one of us gets hurt one can run and get help while the other stays with the victim,” Andy explained.

“You expect one of us to get hurt?” Joey asked.

“No but in case something does happen then we have a plan.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Steve sighed. “How was your lunch with Mel?”

“It was good. She was kind of nervous but any good-natured girl like her would be,” Andy explained.

“What do you mean? Melanie would be great at selling sex toys to people. She’s outgoing yet innocent but sexy,” Steve explained.

“Well, she’s a virgin,” Andy said. “A virgin selling vibrating sky blue dildos seems…odd and hypocritical.”

“Melanie’s not a virgin Andy,” Steve revealed.

“Yes, she is. She’s never had a boyfriend,” Andy pointed out.

“You don’t have to have a boyfriend to have sex Andy,” Joey said.

“Well, it was just one guy right? She wanted to get it over with and just did it, didn’t like it and stopped doing it, right?” Andy hoped.

“No, she’s been with at least three guys,” Steve said.

“Son of a bitch! Why did no one tell me?” Andy yelled.

“Oh come on! We all know how you feel about Melanie. She didn’t want to tell you because it might’ve hurt you,” explained Steve.

“But my best friend decides to spill the beans while we driving to a haunted house!” Andy yelled louder.

“You told me it was you who ran over my cat during the school production of Harvey! That’s how we tell each other things, it’s how we communicate! It’s why we get along so damn well!” Steve screamed back.

Everyone was quiet for several minutes when Joey began rummaging through the duffel bag. “Do you mind if I have some of the holy water? I’m a little thirsty,” Joey asked.

“It’s just water, Joey and yes, you can have some,” Andy said.

“What the hell is that?” Steve pointed out the window, up ahead at the flashing red hazard lights from an RV parked along the side of the road.

“It’s an RV,” Andy said as the Jeep passed the pulled-over recreational vehicle.

“Hotboxin’!” Joey laughed when he saw smoke filling up the windows.

“What’s an RV doing parked on a highway that leads to the Satan House?” asked Andy.

“Maybe the Satan family was coming back from vacation and just couldn’t wait to get home to take that toke,” Steve joked.

“Yeah,” Andy sighed. “That RV was weird. I was thinking that maybe we should have a firm rule. When we go to these places if we see three things that are out of the ordinary we turn around and go back home.”

“Okay, that seems fair,” Steve nodded. “The RV is thing number one.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Why not? It’s out of the ordinary. It’s a hotboxin’ RV!” argued Steve.

“We saw it before we made the rule,” Andy explained as he turned off the highway and began down a gravel road.

“That’s stupid,” huffed Steve. “By the way, why were you throwing rocks at my parent’s window?”

“No, I was throwing them at your window.”

“I think I know which window is mine. I talked to you out of my bedroom window,” Steve said. “You were throwing rocks at my parent’s window.”

“Shit!”

“Calm down, they didn’t wake up. Their bed is on the other side of the room. I just happened to be up and heard the rocks hitting the window,” explained Steve.

The Jeep coasted through a thick area of trees and over a bridge spanning a creek. Andy skidded to a stop and put the Jeep in park. “What are you doing?” asked Joey.

Andy got out and Steve quickly followed. “Oh my God! Look at this bridge!” Andy was ecstatic as he leaned against the bridge and looked into the creek, which was just a trickle. “This bridge is beautiful! It’s made of marble.”

“We all know what the bridge is made of. Now come on, we’re almost there,” Steve said and pulled at Andy’s arm. “I’ll drive.”

“Okay. This is thing number one,” Andy slapped his hands on the bridge railing.

“What? There’s no way that this bridge is that out of the ordinary. It’s just a normal bridge, in the normal woods, crossing a normal creek,” Steve said.

“This bridge is too nice to be out here in the boonies! Who would put a bridge like this out here in the middle of nowhere?” Andy asked.

“Apparently the Public Works Joint Division of Rush and Norton Counties in 1965,” read Steve off a plague carving on the bridge.

“Whatever but this is still thing number one,” Andy said as they got back into the Jeep.

“Bullshit! If the hot boxing RV isn’t number one, then neither is this stupid bridge. Right, Joey?”

“This is you guy’s marital spat,” Joey backed off.

“Fine. Nothing is number one,” Andy settled.

They drove in silence and got back onto a paved road. A couple more minutes passed and they had to stop at a stop sign. Steve tried to look at the street sign. “This is the intersection we need.”

“Where’s the house?” Andy asked ominously.

Steve looked out the window and off to the back. “Found it,” he said and turned left. All three leaned in to see the giant stone visage of the Satan House.