When I was a truck driver, I told tall tales just like all the rest of the truckers. Thumper Tales got the best laughs and surprised looks.

Thumper Tales
26 JUNE 2012

The first time I ever saw Thumper, she was sittin on the floor in a yoga position, eyes closed. She was wearing majorly short shorts and a tight t-shirt. Across her ample chest were the letters N.A.A.B.W. I asked what that stood for. She replied without moving or opening her eyes in her cute blondish voice, “National Association of Arrogant Blonde Women.”

Thumper is six foot one with blue eyes and very long blonde hair. She claims she is a jeans & t-shirt girl that would go barefoot all the time if pebbles didn’t hurt. But she does know how to dress up and party. She was a straight A student in High School & College. After that she was a marine for two years. She then went to California, trained & certified in Hypnotherapy & Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). Even with all this schooling, she lets her blondness come through strongly.

If you want to find out Thumper’s real name, you will hit a solid brick wall. She talked her parents into legally changing her name. So all her awards, diploma’s and drivers license say Thumper.

Thumper got her first traffic ticket last summer. Which is surprising. She never breaks traffic laws while on the road. Off road is a completely different story. Why did she get a ticket? She was on the way to the lake with the top off of her yellow jeep in her black bikini. Cop pulled her over and gave her a reckless driving ticket because she had both legs up on the dashboard shaving them. When cop told her she couldn’t do that, she replied, “Yes I can. Been doing it every summer since I got my first jeep.”

Don’t ever tell Thumper that you need a car. She will quickly say, “I know where you can get a free yellow Jeep!” Naturally you will ask where it is. She then tells you the road to take, where to get off the road, what landmarks to look for & then where to stop. Most ask if this is where they will see the Jeep. She smile mischievously. She tells you to look down into the big hole. “How did it get down in a hole?” you ask. She then tell about how she loves to drive her jeep wildly thru the woods. Sometimes she stops when she sees something interesting. On this occasion when she stopped & walked away, she suddenly heard what sounded like a tree cracking. Quickly turning around the jeep is gone. She ran over to the hole, saw the jeep was only a few feet down. She almost climbed down to it, then cracking & jeep fell a few more feet. This continued until jeep settled down at bottom (about 45 ft down) of what used to be an old mine shaft.

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