I most times find myself lost in thoughts and reminiscing, so as usual today when theirs is so much excitement around, with lots of food and drinks going round, my naughty min has remained restless for what I do not know, forcing me to pen these thoughts.

This year began at a very fast pace with many activities and plans rolling out, “no doubt this was going to be a great year” I thought to myself. Lucky me, I didn’t make many resolutions so I was saved any feeling of guilt that could stem from not meeting them. Anyways through the first quarter, I had loads of fun, met great people and did a couple of things I wanted.

The second quarter however kicked off with a terrible feeling of emptiness with numerous questions rolling through my mind, like; “what more is there to life?”, “what next?” and so on. If you ever asked these same questions, then you understand how I felt, but if not, then I cannot accurately explain to you what the feeling is like. I remembered a friend of mine sharing an experience of depression and frustration and back then, it never made sense to me , I mean I couldn’t even fathom it. But here I was with each feeling of anger, anxiety, fear and frustration vividly coming to me. Thankfully though, there were always friends there to help me, even if they were unaware of the help they were rendering. “Friends” hmm that is for another not, but is funny how people you never expect to stay are the ones that stick like glue.

Where was I, okay I got through the numerous emotions partly battered, hurt and tired, but for most part resolute and strong. Then the third quarter came and things changed. First I stumbled on an old jotting of mine, which when paraphrased states “sad is the day when a man begins to feel satisfied with the life he is living and the things he is doing, that he ceases to have a desire to find out if he was made for something greater”. First I understood better every emotion I had felt, every phase I had passed through and more importantly, the reason fort. Second, I began to get answers and dreams started budding, still I needed direction, so I prayed. The essence of praying is of course not to seem religious, but an acceptance of the fact that I have a source, and a river can never forget its source unless it is prepared to dry up. So I sought my source and believe me when I say I found direction.