Interviewer: So Shelby. I understand you are a common source of conversation, and often ridicule, in the quote book. Would you say this is true?

Shelby: Yeah. No doubt about that. I tied for most quoted about at the Dum Dums.

I: Do you think you deserve to be made fun of?

S: Well, to some extent, yes. I do tend to bring it upon myself. I dress weirdly, talk in third person and am obsessed with Texas. I also do tend to say things without thinking… Other times no, not at all. I don’t consider myself a fat kid and I think someone needs to change her tatics if she wants me to buy doughnuts from her.

I: Ooh, I’m sensing some bitterness here. How would you describe your relationship with A. Will?

S: Odd. She threatens me all the time, but I usually just end up laughing. We’re cool though, whether she wants to admit it or not. And she did not take over my island, for the record.

I: You mean the island you were sent to because you got kicked off the AP Chem Survivor Island?

S: Yeah. First week, too. So I took it over. It was mine. I just let others live on it because I understood how it felt to be kicked off. It sucked.

I: Did it suck as much as being left at a rest stop with no vending machines on the way to Hell?

S: No. Why couldn’t I just stay in my nice little box? It was comfy…

I: About that; we’re all just itching to know. Are you dead or alive?

S: I’m in a box. As long as it stays that way, the world may never know.

I: I guess we’ll have to assume you are both. Just one last question: Which do you prefer: Walby or Shepole?

S: Walby. It’s so much cuter. XD

I: Alright then, Walby! Well, we’re going to miss you this next school year, but keep in mind: you are mostly quoted about, not quoted, so your presence may still be known even with you far away. Any final comments?

S: Aw. Yeah. I miss everyone like crazy. This year just won’t be the same without y’all. Thank you very much for taking me in the past three years. It really has meant a lot to me.

We’ll miss you, Shelby! We’ll meet at Starbucks for coffee when we’re famous authors.