“Oh, I would love to screw with Jake.”

“I saw a naked black man being eaten!” (not quite “that’s what she said” but it still makes you wonder what goes on in her head…)

“I’m eating my snake fetus.”

“Awe, man. I just got myself all wet. I missed my mouth. I got excited.”

“Your butt is really warm, Alyssa.” O.O

“Doodle with your noodle.”

“You’re dreaming about me? A little inappropriate. I’m your teacher, Ashlee.”- Chem Daddy

“I am a woman! I am strong! …Dang it.”

“My hips make boys speak Mexican.”

“I’m not free.” “Yeah, ‘I only charge five pesos’.”- Ashlee and Chem Daddy

“He was trying to gum my muffin.”

“I like spreading out my legs.”

“Hey Ashlee, do you want to go out back?” “I would rather go out front, but back works too.”- Ladler and Ashlee

“Don’t poke my cookies.”

“You’re wearing your underwear.” How would you know?! …

(to be continued)

View her defense here: http://authspot.com/short-stories/tqb-super-special-bonus-edition-interview-with-dover/

Part Two coming soon! Also be sure to check my profile for all the other quotes, interviews, and extras!