I was totally disconnected from most other kids when I was in my youth and found it hard to find others my own age to relate
to on my own level. For one thing I had immersed myself in the
things that interested me such as playing chess,studying the aspects of the solar system concerning distances,conditions of the planetaries,The earth in presice details using longitude and latitude to navigate myself around the globe,reading the encyclopedia,etc. It was difficult finding someone to talk to on these matters with exception to adult figures.Arriving at the place called Bellefaire located in Cleveland,Ohio or actually a suburb of Cleveland known as Shaker Heights was something beyond my own imagination. I had been made a ward of the State of Illinois and they had made arrangements to send me to the place where I was accompanied by my caseworker,
Jerry Smith.
Prior to being sent to Bellefaire there was a 6 month time period where I spent one afternoon a week with Mr.Smith and I had confided in him,looking up to him as a replacement figure for my father who had just recently passed away. I began to show him some of my haunts. Places where I stashed money and cigarettes,places where I used to hang out down on the beaches of Lake Michigan-relating stories to him of how I would brave the world and survive on my own eventually.
One particular location was a place located on Devon Avenue in Chicago near Loyola University. You had to swing yourself around this gate that hung out over the water of Lake Michigan in order to get around to the other side. Once on the other side there was a shelf made of concrete completely hidden from the street. There was just enough room there to sit and be close to the water without getting wet. I spent many hours at this place looking out over the water watching the large freighters that were miles out in the lake.There I would dream,imagine and escape from the world.It was my private place.This I shared with him and made inquiry as to whether he had ever considered killing himself before revealing the location.A year earlier my father had been released from the mental institution he was at in Elgin,Illinois. I had taken him to the place on one of those warm spring days to show him my secret hiding place.A few weeks later he committed suicide and they eventually found his personal effects at the place I had shown him. There neatly placed was his wallet and his shoes.Upon retrieval of my father’s body from the lake the autopsy had revealed he had ingested poison and also used a rope to cut his air off. I later on speculated that he had used the rope being well aware of the instinct to survive and had opted to allow himself to go to the bottom after feeling the effects of the poison,exhaled all the remaining air in his lungs and then used the rope to prevent him from surfacing at the top prematurely.I later on reflected on the fact that I had shown him the location and felt a little guilty over it. This I never told my mother about in the remaining time she was alive for fear that she would be upset with me for showing my father the place he had chosen to end his life. Whenever Mr.Smith would come to the house looking for me and I was not there he knew where he could find me and on occassion he appeared at the place while I was sitting there smoking my cigarettes and dreaming.
He boarded the plane with me at O’Hare airport and we went to Cleveland together. In my mind I was apprehensive about going to Bellefaire and had imagined all sorts of things awaiting me once I got there. Before leaving home I had taken a butter knife-the kind that is blunt on the end,intending to defend myself in the event I was going to be placed into some kind of a dungeon once I got to Bellefaire. It had all been explained to me by Mr.Smith who I wanted to believe but there was still this sliver of doubt,that remaining edge where trust belies truth that hung in the balance.I kept asking Smith if he was sure there would be no locks on the door to my room of which he kept assuring me there was none.
It was rainy day with medium fog on September the 27th,1962 when I arrived at Bellefaire. Standing there at the entrance of the Administration Building was Dr.Fritz Mayer a man of 50ish age.He had a broken German accent and was quite a figure to look at. Fritz Mayer had been in a concentration camp during World War 2 as a younger man and had watched his entire family become exterminated.He had survived only due to his age and was being used for labor.Near the end of the war the Germans were trying to exterminate as many Jews as the could knowing full well the war itself was lost. In their desperation they began to call out people by their serial numbers.It had been planned to call out all of the youth and the educators to be the first to go to the gas chambers but in this instance they called out the serial number of another man who had the same name which was a common name over in Germany.Before he could respond the old man with the same name held up his hand and declared himself to be the Fritz Mayer they were calling for. The old man reassured him that it was alright-he didnt mind going  also reminding him that he might survive the camps due to the fact that the Allied Forces were close to liberating Germany. Fritz Mayer got down on his knees and thanked God for the extra time given to him and promised God that if he survived he would make a place for all children where he could help them and to make sure they never had to suffer as he had at the hands of an enemy which persecuted and exterminated them. Shortly thereafter the camps were liberated and Mr.Mayer survived his ordeal.
Remembering his promise to God he first finished up his medical education he had been pursuing prior to the war and
then immigrated to America. During this time he had mustered up alot of interest in some people about his idea to create this place he had promised to build. His influence and his story had reached influential people who were willing to back up his plans. Thus the Jewish community pulled together and gathered funds to build what became Bellefaire.
My first question to Mr.Mayer concerned the rooms and whether or not there were locks on the door. He promptly took me to one of the cottages and showed me the open holes where a lock was meant to be and I saw that there were no locks on the doors. With a sign or relief I called Mr.Smith over to the side and surrendered my butter knife to him.
Bellefaire is located nearby John Carrol University and in itself it is a campus of sorts. There was a long administration building at the front of the campus.Within it were offices at one end-below it was the store room where food was kept. On the other end of the building was the library,wood shop,print shop
and the arts and crafts rooms,all meant for the kids there.
There was a large round building in the middle of the campus which was the temple.Eight cottages and the other kids were housed there according to age and mentality. They had a clothing room,a gymnasium with a swimming pool below it,
an infirmary,a powerhouse connected to a laundry facility, a large two story building used as the school,a casework building where each kid was assigned his own caseworker,
housing facilities for the staff members,three baseball fields,
tennis courts and a football field.Cottages were joined two together in a semi circle and the kitchens were housed in between each of the cottage units where meals were prepared and served.I will get into details about the facility itself and what kind of programs were available there in my next excerpt.The population of kids there was around 110 at the time and there was a staff member for every 7 or 8 kids so there was plenty of supervision most of the time.