First it was pot then pills then alcohol and basically anything that I could get high off of. I did everything but needles. I look back now that I am older and realize how much time and money I wasted when there is soo much more to do. Then I think: Well, what did I do when i wasn’t high?

Being high made everything interesting. I used to think sitting there straight was boring. I still struggle everyday with my addiction even though I now have a steady relationship and two kids and one on the way. It seems to be that life stressors was my gateway to drugs — anything to take away the edge at the time and oxys used to do it for me. I would use at night when my kids where sleeping then it became something my body needed.

Nothing is worse than having to wake up, search and sell almost anything for a pill to run your body. Then I heard about suboxone although I do not feel that it is being a hundred percent clean, it keeps me from doing any other drug and also I save a bunch of money. One day I want to be clean from everything.

I do not feel that I am at that point right now that I can do that. It does get sickening still having to take a pill everyday but atleast I know what it is and I am learning a lot about myself and my addiction that i considered not bad or harmful at one point. Now I see things a lot diffrently although I have a long ways to go. I hope to come out clean and have a better life. Who knew that smokeing pot or partying here and there would lead to a life long disease?

I wish I had someone to tell me how easily you can get hooked. If I knew then, I would have never started.