Actually ill do any drug I can get my hands on. I was raised by my grandparents until I was nine because my mom was a meth addict and had no home and bad boyfriends. My brother is 4 years younger than me and he didn’t seem to notice our mother’s absence. But I did.

When I turned nine my grandparents went bankrupt. We were forced to move from Seattle back to Spokane where I was originally born. It was weird being with my mom. But I liked her. Of course…..that didn’t last long. We were always moving and my mom was a prostitute. When I was 10 I wondered what age the teenagers in the upstairs apartment so “cool” and “happy” when I turned 11 I found out.

I became an active marijuana user and I drank heavily. It wasn’t so bad at first….but it progressed. I always told myself I would never do hard drugs. But then we moved from where we had lived for 5 years. I was not happy. We moved far away from my party house. Which was close to where I lived and I would sneak out to go party? Then we moved to shadle. I hated it.

But one day I was in the back yard smoking a cigarette and a boy from the house across the alley came out and saw me. He smiled and asked if he could have a cig. I happily handed him one and he asked me if I smoked weed. I said yes. He said to come to his house in an hour or so. But then a smaller boy about 11 came out and said “get inside your ankle bracelet is going off!”He was on house arrest.

Later I went to his house. That’s the first place I tried cocaine. And now…I’m gang affiliated. I’m an east side piru. Shortly after hanging out there for a week or so I was jumped on. My red bandanna is my most prized possession. I take gang banging seriously. Which isn’t a good thing….and I know it. CK all day! Anyway….I’ve been awake for 3 days straight and I weigh 90 pounds. Last month I weighed 112 pounds.

I’m a wreck…..and I know it. But I can’t stop. I’ve tried….but I love drugs/sex/gang banging too much. I’m in too deep now…no one can stop me. I will never get better….I will probably die from an overdose or ill get shot. Jessica used to be a happy kid. She loved art, poetry and friends. Now she likes sex, drugs and “homies”……Jessica is gone….I’m sure of it. Jessica used to care about people and animals. Now all she cares about is the next high.

Her attitude has changed drastically in the last few years……where did Jessica go? I miss her……