“I really don’t know how to say this . . . I have really had a hard time dealing with these issues and now . . “ His voice trailed.

“Now your afraid to tell me?”

“No,” He smiled and looked down. “No, I’m not afraid to tell you now . . But I was afraid to tell you four or five years ago.”

“But we’ve been divorced six years. How come we didn’t have this conversation when we divorced? “ I asked.

“Because I didn’t know what it was that we need to talk about until after we divorced six years ago.” He came back defensively.

“What? You aren’t making any sense. What do you mean ‘you didn’t know until after we divorced’? I replied instantly. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean that I didn’t know until after we divorced.”

“How could you do something like this after we divorced when it actually happened while we were married!” I quickly said.

“Whoa, wait a minute!” He held his hand up. “Nothing happened while we were married. It ain’t like I cheated on you. How could I? I didn’t know until after we divorced.”

“What did you not know until after we divorced? If you didn’t cheat on me while we were married then what in the world are you talking about?” I calmly lowered my voice as I looked into his blue eyes.

I shook my head.“

“I quit six months ago.” I folded my arms across my chest. I demanded an answer and he knew it.

“I’m gay.” He stated.

“No,” I shook my head again, “something told me that but I refused to believe it.”

“Believe it sister.” He took another drag from his Doral 100’s.

“Everyone has told me that you were gay when we were married. There were a couple of times I actually believed it.” I covered my face with my hands so I could regain some kind of composure. After a few minutes I asked. “Jeff, do you remember that time when you worked at Turners Grocery?”

“Yea.” He half questioned and answered.

“Do you remember coming home every night in July for two weeks straight and asking me those questions?” I asked between my hands. I didn’t want to see his reaction.

“No, “ came his reply. I looked at him and we talked about those nights. I told him about all the things that he done that I interpreted as being signs. He listened to me tell him everything. He smoked while I told him all the things he done that made me think he was cheating on me most of our marriage. He told me about how he came to realize that he actually was gay. He told me about the men in his life. He told me everything he had done these past six years, and how he regretted putting me through those years of marriage. But we did agree on one thing that night. We agreed that we have a wonderful son together, and my husband, Joe, has done a good job of raising him while Jeff got his life together.