Was that who I was, a cold, heartless bastard who hid whatever emotion was left in his being in his pocket, so no light nor warmth would ever touch it?

I’d like to believe I showed some emotion, some hint that the object of your affection was young and warm and sensual. But here we are not debating facts, only perceptions. And perceptions are like the murmuring of bees in spring, or the rambling of a restless river. You hear it but you don’t. You have to listen hard, listen deep, for you might already be surrounded by it and never knew it.- l. del Puerto.

I have stopped asking why you are still with me. I gave up on finding reasons why I can’t get over you, why we can’t get over each other. I don’t want to look back or beyond. During the rare times I am with you, I was determined to make it last, because I don’t know when the next meeting’s going to be.

We met up for a chat in the usual place, the coffee shop. We never really plan on seeing each other tonight, it’s just another one of those “spark-of-the-moment” dates that you unexpectedly granted me. You look dashing in you semi-formal attire tonight, this the first time I saw you in slacks. Ironically, you look younger than when you are wearing your usual denim pants, denim playboy jacket, over the usual long sleeves. Red suits the fairness of your skin, it gives you the stand-out, coupled with that nerdy look, any girl would dig you. Yeah, you were a stunner tonight, even on ordinary days in the camp, even on your ordinary look, you are the most beautiful man on earth for me. But I must tell you, the loaf bread you carry tonight, haha, doesn’t make you any less handsome. I just love your being different.

You ordered your steamed milk and told me I should have one instead of consuming too much coffee. Said I was fine. You went on browsing through my brand new laptop. I just let you. I just let you read through the lines of my journal so that you’ll know it is only you I could write about. It is only you that occupies my mind whenever writing takes a visit once in a while.

It was a conversation full of intrigue and too much seduction, well at least on your side. And like any other date that we had, you were the seducer, I’m the one getting mushy. We had a chat that went not like the ordinary we used to have. It was very light, very funny and one that I will remember for all my life.