UH-OH

I never gave it a thought as to how I would react upon my return to “THE WORLD” after Nam.

Joining the army at seventeen years of age with my mother’s grudging consent; I was soon to discover that this was not a Boy Scout camp. Basic training was designed to strip down a new recruits sense of self and then rebuild him with the ideology of us, we, team. It was my good fortune that “Uncle Sam” could seem to care less about a recruits prior civilian status, what job title was held or how much money a person had earned. If you could run, crawl, do push ups, properly maintain and use a rifle, make a tight bed with hospital corners, (thanks mom!) and be in excellent physical shape, the D.I. (Drill Instructor) would stay off of your case. Now I was not blessed with brains or beauty, but what the good Lord did provide me with was the physical ability to not only meet but exceed at any and all training requirements presented to me. The highest a recruit can score on the physical training test was a 500, I did a 490. Only one fella scored a 500 on that test and I would have also, in my haste on the parallel ladder reaching the end to return I over extended and dropped to the ground. That slip up cost me a perfect score, I was tied with two others for second place, good enough to keep the instructor happy. A few new recruits would shake and quake in they’re shiny new boots when a D.I. would throw a tantrum for any sort of noncompliance. It never happened to me because I made sure not to give them a reason to do so. Add in the fact that I was raised by a single mom in the Bronx N.Y.; I learned early in life what real screaming was! Basic was held at FT. Jackson in South Carolina, Three days of orientation followed by a zero week (a training week that was not counted) and then eight weeks of intense training. The toughest part for me was trying to figure out what the hell the D.I.’s were saying. All of them came from the south and with a heavy, heavy drawl. Private!!! Heehaw y’all him skedaddle now bout time sheit! I didn’t understand a freakin word, so I started to pull out a bush and pray that was what the Johnny Reb wanted. In fact, none of the guys from New York could understand those rebels, our country was involved in Vietnam and these dudes were still fighting the Civil war for cryin out loud. They would try and taunt us with remarks as to how many people did we stab and shoot; I know y’all is gangstas up in N.Y.C… and you don’t know what a tree is. I once replied to one of those taunts, you know why Jesus Christ wasn’t born in the south? I would again state the answer before a reply could be made, Because GODCOULDN’T FIND THREE WISE MEN AND a VIRGIN! After that statement I was gold to my New York brothers. Soon after, an unspoken truce between us was realized and we did our best to get along for the rest of our training. Modesty was just a word without any meaning, if a recruit happened to be shy he learned quickly about his new surroundings in the army. We showered together, crapped together without any stalls, just a long line of shitters. Count yourself “lucky “if toilet paper miraculously was present, other wise one was left to his own survival skills. Our one D.I. was an Asian man from Hawaii; he was small in stature but large in mouth. He would often threaten us with karate chops, we believed him, because after all, what the hell did we know. An orator he was not, to this very day I can still hear him order the troops, GIMME TWENTY, YOU MUDDA BUCKERS! Never picked on me though, like I said before, my savings grace was in the physical realm. Still, the most defining year of my life lay before me, I would be forever changed, both good and bad, and at times…very bad. I served for thirteen months in Cantho Vietnam with the 271st Aviation Company; I did a month extension to receive an “early out “that was offered to anyone coming back from Nam with five months or less. I was coming home baby! I was coming home alright, but coming to what? Intrusive thoughts were constantly my companion now, torn about now leaving my buddies, my brothers whom I was so close with, and coupled with the realization of finding employment presented a whole new challenge for me. With a limited education and having no special skills aside from what the army gave me, I was a little concerned about where my life’s journey would lead me. After all and try as I might, alas, there were no employment ads in the newspaper for perimeter guard duty,UH-OH.