Looking up into a tree during the winter, exposes it many branches to which my thoughts come alive.
On a warmer than usual winter day, near noon-time I leaned against the big birch tree and looked all around, taking in all that my eyes and heart could capture. This day with it beautiful crisp wind and sun shinning, I decided to take a little time for me. I looked up at the tree at each and every branch I saw it as my life, one branch at a time branching out.
I don’t know when it was but at some point I decide to sit back relax and just look where my life was, and where I wanted it to go. In the branches I saw my dreams, of helping other, healing them through holistic measures while soothing the soul, with their faith. Teaching mothers to care for their young, from conception to the point, where my services were not need, and to teach them all to meditate when the going got too rough.
I saw my children as the branches spread further out and realized that soon one day they too, will be spreading their wings branching out on their own endeavors. What kind of adults will they become? Will they look back at their lives and be satisfied, full of love and concern for others; or will they hang on bad memories; becoming sad and unhappy. Did I do a good job? Only time will tell!
As I look to my left as a little movement caught my attention and I thought of my parents, especially my dad, together we loved the outdoors. He shares his love of nature, just like myself, with his grand kids, which he loves with all his heart. Whether it is winter spring, summer or fall together we all were trafficking through each seasons. My mother, their grandma who is always so nurturing with her “loves” of many pretty things and desires to shop, until we drop. She too, loved the outdoors especially during the spring, watching bird hatch, trees bud, and flowers bloom. During this season she gets out there planting her flowers and bulbs, nurturing them so they too will “grow up” to become beautiful flowers; beautiful just like her grand kids.
I look to the other side of the tree, I begin to think about me, where am I heading, what will my future be, how will my life be without my mom and dad; I realize it is all very scary and people endure it everyday. I don’t want to think about it, but there is so much I to think about, will I be able to care for them, and deal with the aging process, just like the branch out there, starting to willow away, can I do it I ask myself?
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