Having adjusted himself on the car seat, Deepak looked affectionately at Mamata, sitting next to him. Lost in her thoughts, sad and gloomy Mamata was looking into oblivion. Deepak did want to hug her tightly but he knew that she would burst into tears if he did so. His eyes remained stationed at her for a while and then he patted her shoulder very lightly. With tears in her eyes, she looked at Deepak, the signs of anxiety and unknown fear in them.

He could only say, “Doctors will try,” but he did not know whether it was information, consolation, or mere hope. But Mamata knew that it was the information of the darkness that was making its firm presence in her existence. The car was running at its normal pace and neither of them spoke. Within and without, everywhere there was silence.

She did not want to converse with him. What should she talk about? Now the topics were being left behind and she was unable to find any which could initiate a fresh conversation. Earlier there used to be incessant chatting for hours but in the past few years the things had changed. She is not worried about this issue, she has to think a lot, and, in fact, she thinks that thinking is the only thing that she cares about because doing is beyond her.

She has been through this situation many a times and every time, while leaving home, she prays for good news. She wants to become a mother of a child so that her mother-in-law would also bless her. She had been to many specialists but with every visit the ray of hope had dwindled. She had been to many temples to seek the blessings of the gods but with every passing year the gods proved to be equally helpless.

After their visit to the doctor, Mamata would relate every word of the discussion held with the doctor to her mother-in-law and she listened quite attentively. When Mamata and Deepak visited the doctor, the mother-in-law kept on waiting at the threshold of the house. She was like her own mother and Mamata gave her due respect and obediently followed her commands.

After a few years of Deepak’s marriage, when Mamata was unable to give birth to a child, the neighbours began to misguide her mother-in-law. At first she did not react but soon she began to use harsh words while talking to Mamata. Her only support was her husband, Deepak, and she endeavoured her best to please him in every possible way. She shared her sorrow with him and he not only listened to her but also supported her and held her tightly in his embrace.

Deepak said, “What difference does it make if we don’t have a child? We are there for each other and then we have our love. I don’t want a child; I want your happiness because you are everything to me, Mamata.”

These words solaced her and she forgot about all her sorrows for some time. Mamata knew that it would not be possible for her to go on like this forever because the relatives and neighbours had begun to talk. Eight years had passed and she was unable to become a mother of a child.

One evening, they were in a market for shopping. Mamata was inside a shop and Deepak waited outside. After a while, when she needed money, Mamata came out. She stopped because Deepak was sitting on his hunches, talking to a little girl. The girl was forcing her mother to buy her a doll but the mother could not afford to buy that doll. Deepak bought her that doll. His eyes were moist, and though he tried to hide his tears, he did not succeed when Mamata came near him.

Mamata felt as if time, happiness, future, and many other things were gradually slipping away from her. She innocently looked at things like an onlooker. But she could not find any mistake in Deepak? At first she did not realize that certain decisions were being taken in the house in her absence. When she came to know about them, she could not control herself.

“Oh…my God…no…Deepak…” she muttered and fell unconscious.

When she came to, she found Deepak near her. He was trying to avoid her eyes. How could she silently take the news of her husband’s second marriage? Her Deepak was also not the same; he looked indifferent and he did not say anything. Her faith was shattered because she believed that the entire world could go against her but her Deepak would stand by her. A new woman would enter his life to continue his dynasty and to make him a proud father. No one thought about Mamata. She would be discarded like a defective piece of the machinery, and to run the machine smoothly a new piece would be fixed.

She kept quiet for a few days and when she could she wept and cursed her luck. She was like a vine that survived on a huge tree but a realization had been brought to her that the tree was hollow and on the verge of collapsing.

“Listen!” said Mamata to Deepak after many days of silence. He had not tried to talk to her because he felt that he was equally responsible for her condition.

Deepak was getting ready to go to office.

“Can’t we adopt a child?” said Mamata to Deepak, trying to make her place in his heart for the last time.

He did not respond and, avoiding this confrontation, began to search something in his drawer. 

Mamata kept her hand on his shoulder and said, “You did not answer. Is it possible? I want a child too. Perhaps, God wants us to give a good life to an orphan child. God has left this way for us to travel together. Is it possible, Deepak?”

“My…mother won’t agree…” said Deepak, trying to hide his frustration.

“What do you think?” said Mamata, putting her arms around his waist from back.

Since he was not free to answer, he freed himself from her embrace and hurriedly walked out of the room. Hurt and insulted Mamata could not control her tears.

He came back late in the night. When they were in bed, she kept her hand on his chest and said politely, literally pleading, “Deepak, please try to understand me. Why have you changed? What happened to our love, your promises, and those pledges?”

He did not respond. He understood how she felt and he wanted to help her but he was totally helpless.

“If I give you a new creature, I am everything for you, otherwise I am nothing. What is my existence? You used to say our love is unfathomable but now I feel that it is only on the surface,” she was trying to convince him of her love.

When no response came from him, she began to sob. She waited for his affectionate touch, his loving caresses, his words of assurance but nothing like that occurred. He seemed to be telling her that his decision was unchangeable and she could make her own surmises.

He got up and sat on the sofa. He was now a man, and not her husband. How happy she was when they were married! She was in the seventh heaven and she thought she was the luckiest woman to have got such a loving husband. Now she realized that she had shared the bed with a stranger for eight years.

Mamata knew that he was taking this decision to please his mother; she knew that he loved her very much and that love had silenced him.

“You are looking very beautiful today,” said Deepak in the morning when she brought tea for him.

She hid her face in his chest and said, “Tell me one thing. I have to ask your mother something.”

“You will ask my mother!” he released himself.

“Yes, mother ought to be full of motherhood and she must be a kind hearted person. How can she spoil the life of a woman, her daughter-in-law?” said Mamata.

She pulled her bag out. It was under the bed. She checked her college certificates. There was a cutting of an advertisement: A seven days old girl’s parents have died in an accident. Couples can contact at….

“You don’t need parents, you need mother. I am coming,” said Mamata.

Deepak was looking at her with amazement in his eyes.