Working in an eight floor bookshop in the middle of Glasgow’s busiest shopping street, everyday I would find myself having to deal with the oddest queries, conversations and requests. Whether it’s arguing with an old lady about the main character of a novel I’ve never read, helping mothers find books on fascism for their toddlers, or dressing up in a life-size Dennis the Menace costume.

***

[In the staff room]

Lowly book seller: Did you see that programme on TV last night about those brothers and sisters who had a kid together?

Book shop’s prime security guard: Naw, sounds right beast.

Lowly book seller: Yeh, I never really saw the appeal of incest myself.

Book shop’s prime security guard: Incest eh, what’s that?

Lowly book seller: It’s when people who are related get together.

Book shop’s prime security guard: [Attempts thought for a moment] Eh, but pumping yer cousin’s alright innit?

Lowly book seller: Um, it’s not great. Why? Did you pump your cousin?!

Book shop’s prime security guard: Eh, well I didnae ken it was my cousin at the time like. It was only when ma maw caught us in bed together and freaked out that I found out we were related.

[Lowly book seller puts her head in her hands]