Very often, certain experiences pass as a routine but during the future course of time they come back to you and you began to feel every second of those experiences. Experience takes its course and passes but the feelings remain concealed somewhere in our minds.

First two meetings with him were very formal, she a patient and he a doctor, but after the third meeting everything changed. Rising from the doctor, he had become the best, and she, rising from the patient, had fallen in love with him.

She was young, hardly twenty, and her best was above thirty five, with many academic degrees to his credit. She knew that many fellow students and some of her professors at college were ready to die for her but she had never even looked in their direction with as much as a loving eye. She had every right to be arrogant, for she was the most beautiful girl in that college, and by rejecting all those lovers she had not defied any natural law. She was waiting for the best and she knew that there had to be someone especially made for her.

Her destiny was cruelly under the dominance of her father, and as a result she was made to marry Keshav, a man of average brilliance and handsomeness, but definitely not the best.

One year after their marriage, she began to talk, I mean, really talk. Her husband would laugh, “Thank God, Ambika, you really talk. I was afraid that your father had given me his dumb daughter in marriage.”

And in this way, life began to move at its domestic pace. But what has happened now? What change does Ambika want in her life? Or, has she found the best incarnated in the form of Dr. Vyas? There is something, definitely something-Ambika and Dr. Vyas. His face, his voice, his personality, everything is mesmerizing. She knows that the consequences will not be good but she wants to be the victim of that mesmerism.

She did not want to see a doctor because she was afraid of syringe, tablets, and syrups. The very thought of hospital scared her. The bigger fear was of unknown, for she often felt that the doctor would inform her about the disease which was incurable. Of late, she had not been feeling so active. Frequent headaches, tiredness, loss of appetite, drowsiness, and weakness had taken out of her life whatever interest was there.

“When you are happy, everything seems to be fresh and invigorating in the house,” her husband Keshav said.

When general medication did not help, Keshav visited one of his friends who suggested the name of Dr. Vyas from the Medical College. The friend phoned Dr. Vyas and Ambika had to visit him in his house.

There was a dark blue car parked outside his house. Ambika read the number plate and muttered, “What an interesting number, 1020?”

The mutual friend laughed and added, “Dr. Vyas is unique and his number is also unique. Thank god, it is not 420.”

They were shown in by a servant. They did not have to wait long, for Dr. Vyas appeared and smiled at the friend, “Hello, Shriniket, welcome. How are you?”

“I have brought a patient for you,” laughed Shriniket.

“Oh, I see,” Dr. Vyas gave a cursory look to Ambika. Her husband Keshav said hello to the doctor.

Shriniket introduced them, “This is my friend Keshav, and his wife, Ambika, your patient.”

“Please come in,” said Dr. Vyas and began to lead them in to his office.

The doctor occupied his comfortable chair across the table and offered them the chairs on the other side.

“Yes, now tell me,” he looked at Ambika.

Instead of Ambika, Keshav began to speak, “Sir, she has been feeling quite weak for about one year…”

“Please, let her speak for herself,” Dr. Vyas raised his hand and stopped Keshav.

“I often have headaches but of late I have begun to suffer from stomach pain. I feel lousy and heavy. I don’t feel like eating anything and I can’t sleep. I am losing weight rapidly…” Ambika began to relate her problems.

“Any other problem?” Dr. Vyas smiled in her direction.

She repeated the same, perhaps, adding a few more.

Dr. Vyas checked her pulse and then examined her tongue and eyes. After that he checked the blood pressure. Using his stethoscope, he examined her back. Then he politely requested her to lie on the divan. He pressed her belly with his fingers. Ambika informed about the pain when he pressed on a certain spot.

She was so lost that she did not know how his touch felt. After that, Dr. Vyas went out and brought a weighing machine.

“Sixty Kg. is reasonable according to your height,” said Dr. Vyas.

“You must have been overweight before. People do a lot of things to reduce weight. Your weight is correct and there is nothing to worry,” Dr. Vyas laughed but Ambika did not know how his laughter sounded. She was almost hypnotized.

“Do you feel like coughing?”

“No.”

“Breathing problem?”

“No.”

“Fever? Chest pain?”

“No, nothing, just loss of appetite, loss of weight, and stomach pain.”

“Is there any tension, I mean, do you think a lot?”

“No, not at all.”

She looked at his face and lowered her eyes. She can’t look any man in eyes. Her eyelids flutter when she tries to.

Dr. Vyas prescribed blood sugar test, chest x-ray, abdomen ultrasound, etc.

“These tests are essential,” said the doctor.

“What is your opinion?” said Shriniket.

“I will give my opinion after the tests.”

Having come back home, Ambika felt exhausted. Keshav was trying to encourage her.

After that everything occurred as if through some kind of magic. The probable disease disappointed Ambika but at the same time she felt strange. It was an absolutely new experience and she had never felt the same before. She had never thought about it. Dr. Vyas was not only the doctor. Everything had changed to rapidly for her.

Lying in her bed, she recalled the face of the doctor. She began to feel his touch which she had missed in his clinic. Now she realized that his soft fingers were so comforting on her stomach, on her back. She remembered that his laughter was very pleasing and she began to yearn for it. She knew that he was past forty years of age but he looked so young. She was in a very precarious situation and every moment brought back the moments which she had missed to feel and realize in his clinic. She wanted to be close to him, to embrace him, to sleep in his strong arms. She was going mad and for a while she felt like starting her car and rush to his house.  She wanted to say to him, “Dr. please help me. Something is seriously wrong with me. I am going mad. Please feel my belly, touch my back, hold my hands, and examine from top to bottom. You must do it, doctor.”

She changed her side and looked at Keshav, soundly asleep, not even doubting that her beloved wife was nourishing the notions which could definitely be detrimental to their married life.

She has no complains because Keshav has always been kind to her. She does not know why but she has changed a lot, she has become irascible, sometimes, annoying, but her poor loving husband does not mind her whimsical fancies. He is really a nice man.

She had often felt that she had not been able to love her husband as much as she had wanted to. There was no obvious reason and she should have showered all her love on him but she did not. Perhaps, he was not the best, but he was definitely good.

Now, thinking about Dr. Vyas, everything seems to be wonderful, even life. However insignificant one’s life may be, it is not essential that one should live as a compulsion. She wanted to get up and go to Dr. Vyas. She wanted to look at him very carefully, look in his eyes. It was going to be possible only after the reports of the tests he had prescribed. It means she has to wait for ten days.

While visiting the doctor second time, she could not help asking Shriniket, “Dr. Vyas is very famous while he is so young?”

“He is forty two years old. His wife is a doctor too. She has her practice in Pune,” said Shriniket.

Ambika felt a little more comfortable when she came to know that his wife was not living with him in this town. Her face began to glow and she smiled, avoiding the stare of Shriniket.

They were waiting in the drawing room, when the smiling face of Dr. Vyas appeared, “How are you?”

She smiled shyly and said, “You will have to tell me after reading my reports.”

“Let me see, but today you look healthy whereas the other day you were quite nervous,” smiled Dr. Vyas, trying to read the reports.

“There is nothing serious. It is just abdominal infection. It is in its initial stage,” said Dr. Vyas and prescribed some medicines and gave the paper to Ambika.

In the evening, she was telling her husband, “He does not take fee and it does not look nice to visit him frequently.”

“We shall go on the appointed day,” said Keshav.

“He had said to come in case there was some problem. I am suffering. I have some serious disease and only I know it. I have been thinking the whole night and you are not taking it seriously,” said Ambika.

“You are not physically ill, you are mentally disturbed. Have patience and everything will be all right with time,” Keshav tried to convince her.

“When there is serious problem, patience is lost,” said Ambika, a bit louder.

“Let us see. I will talk to Shriniket,” said Keshav in a resigned manner.

“Why Shriniket?”

“I think the doctor hesitates when Shriniket is with us. If he doesn’t go with us, I will be able to pay his fee,” said Keshav.

“Yes, that will be fine,” said Ambika.

Next time when they visited the doctor, he met them in the same polite manner which he had shown in the presence of Shriniket. He touched her belly, pressed at certain spots, and said, “Nothing is wrong, Ambika, you are unnecessarily worried. You think a lot.”

“You are right, doctor, her thoughts have reached up to cancer,” answered Keshav instead of Ambika.

“There is nothing to worry. I am always there to help you,” Dr. Vyas encouraged Ambika.

“Now I feel better after seeing you. I was really depressed,” smiled Ambika.

Keshav butted in, “See, I had told you there is nothing wrong. You have troubled us unnecessarily.”

“Had she not come here, she would have been restless. Nothing is there to worry about. A doctor’s presence gives psychological boast to a patient and the patient feels better. Ambika, this is a long course, and it needs patience. Don’t take any tension. When you feel tensed, take deep breaths and go out for a walk. It helps a lot,” the doctor gave her a pleasant smile.

Suddenly, the doctor realized that he had almost neglected the presence of Keshav in the room. He turned to him and said, “Mr. Keshav, you can also do breathing exercises. It provides immense relief from tension.”

“Doctor, she is the biggest tension for the time being,” Keshav pointed with his finger to his wife.

Doctor Vyas looked in the direction of the pointed finger and laughed. That laughter ran through Ambika’s veins like electric current and she said, “It is strange that a qualified doctor like you believes in Yoga and breathing exercises!”

“Results are amazing and one is obliged to develop piety. I have also been affected by depression in the past but meditation has always helped me.”

Ambika wanted to ask him the cause of his depression but she didn’t.

Just before leaving the clinic, Keshav put some money under the paperweight on the table but Doctor Vyas put the money back in Ambika’s purse. He said, “Please don’t be formal with me. We are friends now.”

“Please doctor,” requested Ambika, trying to give him the money.

He held her hand and pushed the notes back in her hand. He held her wrist and literally forced her to accept the money back. Ambika was lost. In a second’s time she felt as if that touch had conquered her.

Now she is back in her house; she is restless; she has spread a sheet on the floor for breathing exercises.  She is in the room but her mind is with Doctor Vyas. She feels that he has gradually transformed her; he has put her under some kind of spell; she feels that she can’t live without him. The feeling is so strange that she is unable to concentrate on anything. She wants to listen to his voice, his instructions about the medication. His words were like nectar which purged her entire existence.

She wants another chance in life and she is sure that she would like to spend that part of her life with Vyas, if given a chance. But she knows that the society does not accept it. In this life it is not possible. She is trying to console herself.

One day, at the opening ceremony of a departmental store, she came across Dr. Vyas. She was delighted.

“How are you, Ambika?”

“I am fine,” she whispered, keeping her eyes down.

“You look healthy and happy,” said the doctor.

“Yes, I feel better. One of these days, I will come to your clinic for a routine checkup. Did you buy something?”

“Yes, I bought two music cassettes. I like listening to music before falling asleep,” smiled the doctor.

“I like music too,” she lied.

Ambika does not like it when Keshav listens to music. She almost shouts if he increases the volume a little.

Next week, when she visited the clinic, she found that the doctor was not in his usual jovial mood. He seemed to be a bit serious.

“How are you, Ambika?”

“I am fine but you don’t look the same?”

“No, there is nothing as such. I am a bit tired,” said the doctor.

“I can tell from my experience that there is something which is troubling you doctor,” Ambika gave him a dim smile.

“You have fully recovered but you should complete the course of your medication,” Vyas tried to distract her.

“You did not answer me, doctor?” she did not realize that she was being too much involved in his situation.

“All right, Ambika, tell me, how do you pass your time at home, I mean, when your husband is not there?” the doctor opened up.

“Nothing much is there to do. I remember my past life, read some books and dream,” she laughed.

“What do you dream?”

“About the best!”

“Is there something which you don’t want to tell me?” said the doctor.

“No, nothing as such is there but one does not get everything one wishes for!”

“What had you wished for?”

She looked in his eyes but suddenly realized that she was crossing the line, so she changed the topic, “Doctor, how many days you get to spend with your wife?”

The doctor was not ready for this question, but, trying to compose himself, he said, “We have been married for seven years but I have hardly spent seven months with her if I count the days.”

“Doctor…”

But before she could continue, the doctor interrupted her and said, “Please remove this doctor and call me Vyas. I don’t feel easy when you call me doctor.”

“All right, Mr. Vyas…”

“No Mr. only Vyas!”

“Right, Vyas, I would like you to have dinner with us one evening. May be tomorrow evening?”

“Tomorrow I am a bit busy but I am free Sunday evening.”

“Then it is fixed. You will have dinner with us. You have our home address but if you like, I can come to fetch you?”

“No, it won’t be necessary, I will reach there by eight,” said the doctor and smiled.

On Sunday, Ambika got up very early. Keshav had an off day so he was at home too. She sent him to the local market to buy the things for the dinner. She wanted to cook the best for the doctor. She did not realize that she had never shown this much enthusiasm while cooking for her husband. Keshav was such a gentleman that he never paid attention to trivial things. He felt that she was happy because the doctor had cured her and she wanted to show her obligation in the form of a splendid dinner, for he had never accepted any money from them. Little did he know that his wife had some other plans in her mind!

The dinner was really splendid and doctor Vyas admired her cooking talent, “I wish my wife could cook so well. My destiny is bound to the nearest restaurant whence my meals arrive.”

Keshav tried to be sympathetic, “You can visit us whenever you feel like having dinner or lunch with us. It will really please us. Am I right, Ambika?”

Ambika nodded and smiled, looking at doctor Vyas.

In the following three months, the doctor visited their house five times, twice for dinner, and thrice in the absence of Keshav.

Ambika was very happy that she was heading in the right direction. She was waiting for the day when Vyas would hold her in his arms and kiss her passionately. She yearned for the touch of his fingers. Poor Keshav did not know that she was playing games and planning for the day when Desdemona would actually cheat Othello.

“Vyas, are you happy with your wife?” one afternoon, she could not help asking the doctor when she had invited him for tea.

“Why are you asking me this?” the doctor looked in her eyes.

“I feel that you deserve better. I mean she stays there and you stay here. Your marriage is only for namesake I believe,” she did not realize she was going in the direction which was openly inviting the man sitting in front of her.

“Ours was an arranged marriage and love did not exist there. I have never experienced love, Ambika, but now I feel that I have missed the most important thing in my life,” the doctor said very thoughtfully.

“I have been experiencing it for a few months,” said Ambika abruptly but then she realized that she was going a little too fast.

“Why, you have a loving husband?”

“No, I am not talking about my husband’s love. I was never in love with him. I had to marry him. There is someone…”

“But that is cheating, Ambika!” the doctor was amazed at her dauntlessness.

“I don’t care! I feel like flying!”

That day their conversation did not continue after this point because the doctor had an appointment with a patient.

Ambika had already bought a mobile phone. When she remembered Vyas, she simply dialed his number and chatted for long with him.

“Ambika, your mobile bill is around 3000 rupees this month. Where do you call? You have never told me that you have friends who love talking on phone?” said her husband.

“This month, most of my calls were to the clinic. I have to take advice from time to time. I don’t want to take chances. If I fall sick again…” she lied to him.

“No, nothing will happen to you. I am not complaining, I just asked,” said Keshav with a smile, thinking that he had angered her with this inquiry.

After about two weeks, Keshav had to go out of station for one month. She was happy that she could call or meet Vyas whenever she wanted.

After seeing her husband off at the airport, she went straight to Vyas’s clinic.

“Hello, Ambika, you look very happy?”

“Yes, I am free for one month!” she laughed and collapsed in the chair in front of his table.

“What happened?”

“He has gone out of station for one month?”

The same evening, they went out for dinner and after the dinner he dropped her at her place.

She wanted to invite him in but she did not want to take any chance. She was sure that he was attracted to her and he would fall into her arms if she invited.

The following day, she decided to go for it. She wanted to be with him, really with him. She had waited for so long and she did not want to miss this opportunity.

That night, she invited him for dinner. He came but he was sad.

“Is something wrong, Vyas?”

“I saw my wife today.”

“Where?”

“She was in town with someone.”

“Why didn’t she come home?”

“Ambika, I have to tell you something,” he looked in her eyes.

“Yes, go on,” she smiled.

“I know you want to know more about my marriage. I also know that you like me…”

“Yes, Vyas, I fell in love with you when I first saw you in your clinic…” she came close and took his hand in her hands.

“Ambika, my wife and I, I mean, we have never slept together…” there were tears in his eyes.

Ambika was amazed, but she was happy that she had moved in the right direction and in no time she would be sleeping with him.

“I can’t do it. I am physically not able to perform sex. I am impotent. She stays away in another town because she has a man there and she lives with him. I never stopped her because if I stopped her, she would go for divorce and I don’t want it. I am quite helpless.”

Ambika did not believe what she had just heard. She felt as if all her dreams were shattered in one blow. This handsome young man could not perform sex and she had been dreaming for months to sleep with him, to embrace him tightly.

Suddenly, she began to laugh loudly. The doctor was surprised when she came close to him and hugged him tightly. She put her lips on his lips and kissed them passionately. She was trembling and her body was burning.

“Vyas, this life is really mysterious and it is very difficult to understand it. I had been planning to seduce you to love me, to sleep with me, to kiss me, to be my lover, but in one second you have changed everything. Now, I really love you for the virtues which are much higher than those I had in my mind about you. Whenever I looked at you, I saw a handsome, sexy, young man who could be the target of every young woman. But now I love you because you are so helpless, so poor, so alone, and yet so caring….”

The doctor was unable to understand this woman.

“I have a request, Vyas. Please repeat whatever you have told me about you and your wife in front of my husband. You will get a license to be a friend of the family for the rest of our lives. My husband will be relieved that you are an incapable lover if you ever tried to be one. For a husband it is the biggest consolation if he knows that his wife is safe with another man. I promise you I will always be there when you need me…”