My heart was in my throat. My stomach was in my mouth. The boat was rocking in a steady rhythm. I could hear the gunshots, the steady rata tat tat coming from the MG’s up on the bluff, I could hear the puke hitting the cold, shinning deck. Suddenly I became aware of my mouth filling with stomach bile.

When I looked up I saw the cloudy sky. Saw the helmets of my comrades in arms. Then I saw the flashing guns. “Over and out Marines!” I distantly noted Sarge screaming at our platoon. The front of the boat came down. We barely had a second. The first five fell back or on their faces, the soldier next to me grabbed me, he yelled something at me. I’m not sure what it was. Next thing I know, I’m sinking in the murky, no, rephrase that, bloody water.

I came up, forcing air into my lungs. My hands still gripped to my M1 Garand. Thank god I whispered silently. The ground shook. I looked up, sand and pieces of rocks where flying everywhere. Then I remembered where I was. I forced my legs to run, run as fast as possible. I slid into a crater a few men where in thinking I may have found some men in my platoon. I failed to acknowledge the fact that one was missing a arm and screaming in vain for his father, or that one was trying to put his leg back on. They didn’t seem to know I was even there. I ran up the beach. Bullets kicking up pieces of rock and dirt into my face. 

All of the sudden my legs felt weak. Then I realized the ground was blue with gray. I had a funny taste in my mouth and I couldn’t hear the ringing in my ears or the shots all around me. Then the dread set in as I realized the ground was the sky. The funny taste in my mouth became metallic. I realized grimly, blood. I tried to look down, for some reason I couldn’t. I became acutely aware of a hole in my lower abdomen. Then realized I couldn’t feel below it. And my hands. I could feel them. But it was what I felt on them that sickened me. It felt slick, bumpy as the sand had gotten on it, and warm. I realized without too much surprise that what I was feeling was something that had been hanging out of that gapping wound in my body.

I sat there. I felt dizzy. I felt confused. I could feel the lifeblood draining out of me. It didn’t hurt. I can’t remember screaming for anything or even at all. Then there was somebody over me. I think they were yelling for morphine. I don’t remember. It seems so distant now. Then he said, “I can’t stop the bleeding.” panicked. 

I felt my eyes close. I don’t remember a bright light. Or even a tunnel. I just awoke. I wasn’t in pain, although I remembered what had just happened. I looked around. It was just white. And there ya’ll where. All sitting around this table playing poker it looked like. I walked up unsure. I asked if this was Hell or Heaven. “Neither,” one of you replied. “it’s a waiting place.” we wait, we talk, and we relate. We try to decide where we should be. It’s pointless. Only the Man knows. And when you’re done thinking, you go through that door over there, no one ever comes out. So we figured, that’s the place they decide. We’re the ones that are too scared or ashamed to know our place. Welcome to the Waiting.”