Good Morning and Welcome to Bailout Airlines!  We’re so glad you chose to fly with us!

Before we board the plane there are a few items.  We will board in three tiers.  Will all passengers that found their tickets lying in the street get in line A, you’ll be the first to board.  Those that bought their tickets online at 50% off in line B and finally those that paid full price line C.  Thank you ladies and gentlemen, we’ll start boarding shortly.

Thank you so much for waiting Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s start our boarding process.  Will all passengers in line A please come forward with passes out and ready for the agent?  Thank you.

All right, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Let’s give the A list passengers a few more minutes to get to their seats, while we are waiting please make sure that you have your boarding pass and ID out and available for the agent.  Also, please make sure you have your 5 dollar boarding fee available in cash only.  There is an ATM next to the coffee shop, we do not make change.  Thank you for choosing Bailout Airlines, we’ll start boarding shortly.

Thank you again Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get started with boarding corral B.  Please have your ID, boarding pass and 5 dollar service fee out and available for the attendant.  Will those left in Corral C please have your boarding pass, ID and 20 dollar boarding fee available.  Once all of Corral B is seated, we’ll start boarding you promptly!

Now boarding all Corrals, All letters.  Thank you for choosing Bailout Airlines

“Excuse me miss?”

“Yes?”

“I have a ticket that has a Corral D on it?”

“Oh yes, thank you.  You can take your place at the back of the line.  We’ll need to take a few minutes to strip search, body cavity search, and X-Ray.”

“But, I bought my ticket at the counter.  I paid to upgrade to First Class.”

“Yes, you did.  We’re sorry First Class is full with Corral A passengers.  Guido?”

Thank you Ladies and Gentlemen.  All bins are full with Corral A bags, if you have any bags with you, you can pay the 5 dollars to unlock the extra legroom in front of your seat for your bags, otherwise, we’ll have to check them to your destination.