What a Travesty

Nicholas Kenney on Aug 20, 2008

Tags: brave, chuckled, Complaint, growl, Macintosh, romps, tracks

Macintosh the Giant Schnauzer is back to lodge a formal complaint.

I’m here to lodge a formal complaint. My daily romps are becoming less and less and I want something to be done about it immediately!

I used to be able to tunnel under the back yard fence and chase the Fed Ex man back to his little truck…what a hoot that was!

Himself in that silly uniform with the short pants and dark socks! I mean really!

And then there was our neighbor…Don…I once let him put me back in our yard.

The next day while I was out enjoying the neighborhood he decided he was brave enough to put me back in our yard again until I set him straight.

As he started towards me I headed for him as well uttering a deep growl as I went.

He didn’t stop until he heard me. Then he stopped dead in his tracks.

When I showed him my pearly whites he turned and high-tailed it over Mr. Mack’s fence.

The amusing part was when he thought he was safe because the next thing he heard was my growl from behind him! (See, I’d jumped the fence, too!)

I couldn’t help but snicker to myself as he emitted a profane reply before jumping the fence in the other direction to run all the way home!

I later heard him tell my pop “Nick, that dog’s crazy! … Mackintosh is crazy, Nick!”

My pop just smiled and chuckled.

But all that ended when my pop cemented the bottom of the fence down to the ground all around the back yard. What a bummer!

I lived to scare everyone off the street and back inside!

And then there was this morning…mama eating cereal and then offering the left-over milk to the cats but none to me. What an outrage! Why, I enjoy milk just as much as those silly cats do!

My pop didn’t help matters either with his teasing “what’s the matter, Mackie, won’t mama share with you?”

“You hush!” My mama replied.

Mama came home a month or so ago with two Miniature Schnauzer females named Pepper and Spice. Apparently they weren’t wanted by their previous humans anymore.

Well, they haven’t been spayed and are now coming into heat!

I hadn’t been neutered so I was ready for a good time until my folks took me into the Vet…they ruined that for me, too!

So, I’ve had enough…I want something done and now!

Do whatever you must to stop this outrage and travesty of justice in my home, just do it somewhere else because if you come here I’ll have to hurt you…I’m still me, after-all and on the job protecting my family and home!

Signed,

Macintosh The Giant Schnauzer of the Kenney Clan

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Comments (11)

Glynis Smy on Aug 20, 2008
Hey Mac I hear you mate, I had that op too but they saying something about removing my bark next…bring it on and try Mr Vet!!! regards happy hunting Max from Cyprus ps tell your owner he did a good job here
Nick Kenney on Aug 20, 2008
Thanks so much Glynis!! And tell Cyrprus not to ever let anyone remove his bark!!!
PR Mace on Aug 20, 2008
Hey Mac,

This is Kole or Kolie Dog when I am good. I’m part of the Mace Gang with my friend Katie Mae Mace Dog. Check out our picture our Mom put on her site. I understand your pain, my mom took me to the vet when I was only 6 months old. They took my manhood. But I guess as Mom and Dad say I am a better dog for it. It made he feel better when Katie had to go to the vet for the same thing. I would not want her left out of the fun. My Dad did the same darn thing with our yard. Katie and I can’t dig out either. I never thought about jumping the fence. So do tell your Pop I said that okay. Well I better go before they find me on the computer again. Take care Mac and happy life.
Alexa Gates on Aug 21, 2008
poor mackintosh!
Ruby Hawk on Aug 22, 2008
A good thing these dogs didn’t have a discussion with my sons dog’s. they would have explained how to take a running jump and jump right over the fence.
Darlene McFarlane on Aug 23, 2008
I love Macintosh. I love his sense of humor and his personality. It would have been funny to see Don the neighbour run all the way home.

Good one Nick!
Judy Sheldon on Aug 23, 2008
I wonder what my fur baby would have to contribute to this conversation.

Great article, Nick.
Nick Kenney on Aug 24, 2008
Me too Darlene! Although I can see it in my mind and it’s hilarious! When Don told me about it it was all I could do not to bust out laughing! He comes across so macho tough…to picture him jumping fences and running home with Mackie hot on his heels is too much! Don breeds bull-mastiffs so for him to be afraid of Mackie…of course our boy is bigger than his dogs.
Mackie does have a great personality…and he is so devoted to protecting us especially Jan. All our neighbors are terrified of him and when he used to get out of the backyard you could tell because he cleared the streets! There’s a new marshall in town and his name is Macintosh!
Nick Kenney on Aug 24, 2008
I’m sure they’d have a great conversation Judy! They say that Giants don’t get along well with other animals but our boy does…he growls alot at the others but he doesn’t mean it. He’s never offered to hurt any of the others but he does chase out stray cats that sometimes find there way into our house. (We have a doggie door…and the entire neighborhood seems to use it…)He sniffs our cats when they come home, maybe to make sure they belong here…we can always tell when a stray has wandered in for food or warmth because we hear our boy’s growl and racing,heavy footsteps followed by profane kitty replies!
Jan and I don’t exclude any cat nourishment or warmth but Mackie does! There’s one that we’ve named “Cinder” that comes in every so often and he’s learned how to hide from Mackie.
mdegenhard on Sep 12, 2008
I love this! The humor is great as is the imagery of the neighbor jumping over the fence and cursing. Excellent flow and love the way the dog speaks directly to the reader. Wonderfully written. Michael
M.C. Johnson on Sep 25, 2008
LOL. Nick you didn’t! That poor baby! Pay him hommage.

What a Travesty

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