I used cocaine daily for eight months, that isn’t that long compared to a lot of other people, but those eight months that I did use cocaine I lost a lot of weight, my relationship with my family, and was pretty much secluded from the outside world. I went through a lot and was put in a lot of bad situations, the only people that I had and called my family were the other two girls that I was doing cocaine with.

We were always together and we were all that we had…except for the cocaine. We were so bad that we got up to an eight ball a day between–just the three of us –leaving school early, not going to school, doing the drug in the bathroom stalls while at school. It completely ran our lives and it ruined a lot of relationships. During my time using cocaine, my world of drugs completely opened up.

I was drinking, smoking pot, popping pills and doing everything that was handed to me. After these eight months of me completely dying from the inside out, my mom locked me in a room with her and wouldn’t let me out, and wouldn’t leave until I told her what had been going on. After that day…I really slowed down. I didn’t stop completely, but I wasn’t allowed to be around my friends as much and I was watched at school and everywhere else that I would go.

I managed to leave cocaine alone completely. I have still been doing pills, drinking and smoking frequently but I don’t see it as becoming a problem or even being a problem. Not too long ago though I realized a lot of my old habits coming back. I was partying at a friend’s house and they were smoking meth. I don’t know what it was, but I missed being on that level. Meth was a drug I had never tried, but I always had this image in my mind that it was a lot like cocaine.

I smoked meth and the rush that I got from it was like no other. It was one of the most amazing feelings that I have ever experienced. I haven’t smoked meth again since that day, but the urge has been there since. I started doing cocaine again after smoking meth…I don’t really think that I have a problem. I have a job and I attend work faithfully, and I seem to have enough money to make it through to the next week. However I do party, I love to party. It is my escape from the everyday boring world that we all live in.

I don’t see it as a problem…to do what I am doing, as long as I don’t let it control me. I think I can control it. The urges are there, and they are so strong, but as of right now, I am okay. I feel like if I can keep this mentality then I should be okay?