Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, but Humpty Dumpty had a fake fall. It was a lie, Humpty Dumpty really just had a huge insurance policy he was looking for. He hid beneath a hen for some time until he was found and had to escape to Mexico where the police couldn’t catch up. Meanwhile, Hillery Pillary, Humpty’s ex-girlfriend was looking to hurt Humpty Dumpty for not telling the truth to her about his insurance scandal. Eventually, she really threw him off a wall and that was Humpty’s great fall. 

The End
Sorry if I ruined your favorite childhood book.