My sisters are jealous that Chuck E Cheese in my town serves beer.

“What’s up with the dry Chuck E Cheeses?” They ask.

“I mean, how do you get your husband to come to a birthday party with a bunch of 5 year olds and lots of loud video games?”

“If you pour it they will come.”

I laugh, knowing that most of the time when I go to Chuck E Cheese I tell people it’s because their salad bar is a great value and the pizza isn’t that bad. Honestly, it’s because they do sell beer.

I don’t know if there is logic or insanity to serve alcohol at a Chuck E Cheese. Disneyworld is dry. How can they call it the “Happiest Place On Earth” if they don’t sell beer? All the adults know this from the sucked on a tree full of lemons look at the gates waiting for the park to open. I took my two boys to Disneyworld by myself and after a full day at the “Happiest Place on Earth” the first place I hit on the way out was a bar, and I didn’t have to go far. There are smart entrepreneurs out there, the first bar was right outside the gates of the “Happiest Place On Earth.” The only thing missing from the bar was a playground for the children, then I could really relax!

Busch Gardens is a case in smart marketing. Our family always took a yearly trip to Busch Gardens. The children would arrive excited about all the great rides and betting each other how many times we’d ride the Cobra rollercoaster. Mom would take the kids around to the different rides while Dad would scope out the beer. That’s right; Busch Gardens was smart enough to trap Dad in a place with whining children and noisy rides but offer free beer. Of course the park is owned by a beer manufacturer. My Dad scoped out the free beer place before we entered the gates. He’d go over and they’d allow one free beer per person, so he’d get his free beer. He’d go and walk us around a few rides until the bartending shift changed they back again for another free beer. Sometimes, he’d get in different lines with different bartenders to get the free beer. Ahhh, a smart park that helped parents cope with their children. He’d begrudgingly go to Hershey Park for the free Hershey Kisses but he never missed a trip to Busch Gardens.