North American driving habits suck!
After surviving another long weekend driving on the Vancouver Island highway, I feel its time to give folks a little refresher course on what you need to know to navigate a couple of tons of metal and plastic without killing yourself or anyone else.
When you see the signs that say 50 or 80 max, this means how fast you’re supposed to go, not how many pounds per square inch to exert on the gas peddle
The little stick thingy usually located on the left side of the steering wheel thingy. Its kind of important. This is used to tell people where you are going. It will not tell people that you are planning to go on a secret weekend to your Whistler love nest to shack up with a trans gendered midget Lithuanian yahk herder., but its pretty useful in letting people when you are going to careen across three lanes of traffic to get to the exit that you should have prepared for 10 miles before. C’mon folks, we’re not telepathic. If you are going to cut me off at least let me know you are going to cut me off
No matter how good you think you are, you can’t eat an egg McMuffin while having a smoke, combing your hair and talking on the phone and fumbling around trying to change a CD when you are driving, it is just a plain stupid thing to do, though I see people trying to do just that all the time. Pay Attention! You are pushing around a few thousand pounds of projectile here. Keep all eyes on the road, anything that has to be done can be done while pulled over to the side of the road.
The type of vehicle that you drive has no bearing on you IQ. If you are a moron and buy a BMW, then you are a moron with a BMW. Your car doesn’t make you smarter or stronger, and giving someone a disdainful look through darkly tinted glass is quite ineffectual, and frankly, really stupid.
People with giant 4X4’s? what the hell are you overcompensating for? Don’t even get me started on Hummers. When is the last time you saw anyone pounding the crap out of a hummer in a mud bog?
For those who like to drive those wee little cars that sound like dry popcorn farts, take it from me, when you are trying to intimidate me with those nasty gangsta looks, remember, I am seeing someone with their hat on backwards, wearing sunglasses at night, listening to 3000 watts of brain liquefying rap/hiphop, driving something that looks like it could fit in my glovebox. In other words, a dweeb. Who else would spend 800 on a muffler that sounds like flatulence? Oh, and those reflective license plate covers? The ones that are supposed to block photo radar? They don’t work.
If we all start paying attention to what we are doing and stop driving like brain dead macho idiot , maybe we’ll save some money on insurance rates, keep our cars in tip top shape, and live long enough to spend it.
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